HADI PURNOMO'S

expresion of love

2008-07-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

love is confused

party in bar beijing

2008-07-16T04:39:00.000-07:00

hot kiss

gangbang kisser

ops....nice like this

dance again

hot kiss be loss control

Love and Kiss

2008-07-15T01:30:00.000-07:00

Have Soft, moist lips

2008-07-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

step 3 about french kiss

Chapstick is something that guys and gals alike can carry on them and use often. Soft lips are enticing where as dry lips are quite the opposite. Would you want to kiss someone with cracked, chapped lips or soft, smooth lips? I though so. :P

This is something very easy to do! Just carry around a tube with you and apply as need. Voila! Instant kissable lips. Also, keep in mind that most lipsticks can be very sticky and unpleasant to transfer via kiss. They look pretty, yes, but be sure if you want to use lipstick or gloss, that it will not hinder the kiss. Sometimes flavored lip gloss can be fun. ;)

Preparation - Have Fresh Breath

2008-07-15T01:27:00.000-07:00

step 2 about french kiss

Having bad breath is a major turn off for many partners out there. Having good breath is something you should want to have around people in general. It is especially important for a French kiss as you will be exchanging saliva with your partner. Try to not to eat smelly things before a kiss such as garlic or onions. Gum and mints help, but can only do so much. In the event of having smelly food, or in the event of having food that leaves a residue in your mouth, it is best to brush your teeth if you can. If you can't bush your teeth, try drinking lots of water to clean out your mouth. Then try mints/ gum.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2008-07-15T01:25:00.000-07:00

step 1 about french kiss

There are some standards of things that are fairly constant across the board that I will go in to depth about. The definition of a French kiss, as defined by wikipedia, is "a passionate romantic or sexual kiss in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue (or lips) and usually enters his/her mouth." Well, I think we all knew that much, so I hope to be able to teach how to French kiss well. We have all heard horror stories about "bad kissers" and obviously do not want to be labeled as such. Read on to find some "Do's" and "Don'ts" of French kissing.

How to French Kiss

2008-07-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

Intro the step about french kiss

Ahh, the French Kiss...The timeless symbol of romantic passion that we all have seen two people engaging in, one way or another. We see it in movies, hear about it from friends, see it happening at parties, and read about it in books and magazines. Chances are, if you haven't experienced it, you want to. It is an exciting and intimate moment between two people who are attracted enough to each other to kiss. French kissing can come quite naturally to some of us, and can intimidate the rest.

If you are interested in French kissing, I also highly recommend the Intructables on the site on "How to Kiss" and on "How to Make Out". Both are very informative and helpful to those curious about kissing and hit all the topics that should be addressed. Not sure how to kiss? Well, French kissing shares many of the same principles as normal kissing and making out as far as technique, but if you are interested in gaging body language or how to work up to a French kiss, take a look around.

In this Instructable, I aim to focus on the French Kiss alone. The French kiss is not a science, but rather an art that is open to interpretation for all who are interested. There is a certain amount of skill involved, but it is mostly instinct that will come naturally with time. By creating this Instructable, I hope to help you be a confident, compassionate, French kisser and alleviate your nervousness about kissing.

litle

How to Kiss [step 5]

2008-07-15T01:04:00.002-07:00

Kissing "don't's" are just as important as kissing "do's". Just as doing all the right things can make for a magical kiss, doing all the wrong things could seriously throw a monkey wrench into your kissing future.

So remember, don't:

try to suck the face off of your partner. Kissing is exciting, and there can certainly be an urge to latch on and suck, but try to resist, as it will probably upset your partner.

force your tongue onto the scene. The right time to use your tongue while kissing will present itself after a few kisses, a few minutes or a few days. Forcing it too early or being aggressive with your tongue before you or your partner is ready is not a good idea.

kiss your partner with a mouth full of saliva. Remember to swallow excess spit before locking lips with your partner. While this is more of a problem with French kissing, if the saliva were to somehow find its way out of your mouth during a regular kiss, it could be problematic.

kiss with bad breath or fuzzy teeth. Practice good oral hygiene before kissing and take a second to think about whether or not your lips and mouth are a nice environment to kiss. It's true that kissing someone who has eaten onions or garlic can be pungent - so watch out for kisses after meals, but often if both partners have had the same thing to eat neither of them will mind very much.

miss your partner's face or misalign and hit noses. It's not the end of the world if this happens, but a simple turn of the head or glance to make sure you are properly aligned can help you avoid this potentially embarrassing situation.

don't run into trouble with braces. Locking braces, cutting your partner, or just clashing metal is a real danger when you or your partner have braces. Kiss gently when you have braces and take special care not to link your braces onto theirs. Kissing with braces is most definitely possible and having them shouldn't keep you from being a great kisser.

Even if you do make some of these mistakes none of them are unrepairable. Remember, kissing certainly is a big part of becoming close with someone, but it is by no means everything. If you do happen to have a bad experience just take a second to compose yourself, and try giving it another shot.

How to Kiss [step 4]

2008-07-15T01:04:00.001-07:00

The post kiss is a lot like the pre kiss state, but more warm and gooey.

If you enjoyed the kiss show your partner that you liked it by smiling and/or holding their hand.

If you are going to kiss again keep things energized by maintaining physical contact with your partner even though you have pulled your lips away. For multiple kisses its ok to do the same thing over and over, but it's better to change things up a little bit. Here are some variables to think about modifying:

angle of approach
speed of kiss
length of kiss
kiss firmness/intensity
lip positioning (The first kiss is often a dead on approach, but offsetting one set of lips either up, or down can lead to a nice interlocking kiss where one partner's lips are nestled within the "lip valley" of the other partner's lips.)
hand placement
body placement

If you are done kissing for a little while just stare into your partners eyes and enjoy what the two of you just shared. Hopefully it will be the first of many and the twinkle in your eye as well as the smile on your face should make you feel like you are on top of the world.

How to Kiss [step 3]

2008-07-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's time for THE KISS. Take all the elements from steps 1 and 2 and put them together. It's good to be methodical while practicing to kiss, but when it's time to do the real thing it should flow smoothly and come naturally. That means less step-by-step instructions, and more videos of the real thing.

You can also touch your tongue to your partners lips ever so slightly. (This is not a French Kiss - just one method of placing the tongue towards the front of your mouth so you can just lightly brush your partner's lips upon contact.)

How to Kiss [step 2]

2008-07-15T00:56:00.000-07:00

Once you're leaning in, things start to happen quickly. If you are nervous about the actual kiss, why not practice beforehand to hone your technique? An arm or mirror could serve as useful tools to self monitor the feel and look of your kissing style.

Rest assured, THE KISS is coming, but here it is broken down first, step by step so that you know whats going on when you see it at full speed with a partner in the next step.

Here is a head on view of a kiss. I am just practicing here, so it might look a little funny, but once your partner is sitting across from you and your lips meet theirs, it's H, O, T hot.

1. You are in the pre kiss state described in step 1 - your head is tilted, there is lip activity, your eyes are in a soft deep gaze and maybe there is some light physical contact.

You could open or close your eyes, though if you're nervous, closed could help avoid the deer in headlights look of fear. I like to start with mine open and close them just before lip contact.

2. Either you or your partner has shown that they would like to kiss. Start putting the pieces from step 1 together. Lean in and meet your partner halfway. Begin to pucker the lips by bringing them together, pushing them out, and applying just a faint hint of suction on your closed mouth to bring the cheeks slightly in.

Now is a good time to lick your lips if they aren't already moist.

Keep leaning in, remembering to tilt your head until you make contact with your partner's lips.

Remember not to forget about hand placement! A gentle touch to the back of the neck, the shoulders or your partners head is all you need. This can also help in guiding someone into the kiss if they are lost or are having trouble meeting you.

3. Your lips come to a full pucker position. They are soft, but not floppy. They can be fully formed and firm, but certainly not hard. This is an ambiguous state for any solid to be in - but these are your lips were talking about here - they can handle it!

Make contact with your partners lips.

If this is your first kiss, you don't want to linger too long, but you also don't want to just peck them and retreat.

Count "one-one thousand, two-one thousand" in your head before relaxing the pucker in your lips and beginning to pull your head away. You can hold the kiss like this for longer, but after 5 seconds or so should start think about ending this kiss. If you would like to keep kissing after that you can always lean in again and follow up the first kiss with a second, third or fourth kiss.

Remember to breathe through the kiss. It's all right to hold your breath for a short kiss, but for longer ones you are going to have to breathe while you are kissing. Since your mouth is occupied, you are going to have to use your nose. Just breathe normally and continue on with the kiss.

To end the kiss begin to lighten the pressure your lips are applying to your partners' and relax your puckered lips. As your lips relax they will separate and a small amount of air will be sucked into your mouth. This will create the kissing noise, or "smack" that is identified with a kiss.

At this point contact with your partner's lips has ended and its time to start thinking about giving them a little space and time to reflect about what just happened.

4. Move your head back slowly and begin to relax the muscles around your mouth. You can keep your eyes closed for a bit as you revel in the kiss and slowly return to your normal un-extended position.

5. You are now in the post kiss phase and if it was a good kiss, words won't do the feeling justice. If you and your partner liked what just happened you can follow up with more, or just enjoy what the two of you shared. If it was a bad kiss, you can try to make changes and give the kiss another go. If things can't be salvaged at that particular moment, don't force it - take a break and talk about it with your partner and try again after a few minutes or another day.

How to Kiss [step 1]

2008-07-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

The lead up to the kiss can actually be the most difficult part of kissing. Figuring out whether your partner is ready to kiss you or not can be a challenge of its own.

If you see one or a combination of these indicators, there is a good chance that your partner is thinking about kissing you.

eyes become soft and heavy
eye contact is made and sustained
head turns slightly
lips are licked or bitten
your partner makes physical contact with you beyond what seems appropriate for normal conversation (e.g. he or she brushes your hand, touches you on the shoulder or leg, or fidgets with an accessory)
easy conversation comes to a stop, but eye contact is not broken
your partner smiles in conjunction with any of the above behaviors

To give your partner the cue that you wish to kiss him or her, you can try one or a combination of these things.

soften your gaze by relaxing the muscles around your eyes, somewhat like smiling but without engaging your mouth
smile often, though
make eye contact and allow it to linger for a few moments longer than you normally would
find ways to subtly (but respectfully) touch your partner

If you think you are picking up some of these signs, but are still unsure if the person wants to be kissed then there is nothing wrong with just simply asking your partner if a kiss would be all right. Granted it breaks the mood a bit, and sensing the magic is always nicer than asking if it's there, but better to be sure your partner is on board for the kiss otherwise you might be heading for an embarrassing situation.

If you've assessed the situation, and it seems probable that a kiss is imminent, the next things to think about are timing and approach. The key to nailing the pre kiss is matching your partner's speed and intensity. The kiss is the first opportunity to physically connect with your partner, and so you want to meet him or her halfway.

Here are some steps you could follow as you go in for the kiss. Keep in mind that the kiss you share with someone is as unique as your relationship with that person, so follow your instincts and use the following as a rough guideline.

1. Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner's body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you, you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from "high risk" zones on your partners body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.

2. Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., "I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you."

3. As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner's positioning. One partner will have to make room for the other, or both partners can just slightly tilt heads in opposite directions. Basically you are just trying to avoid a nose collision as you get closer, so just pick a side to turn to and don't give it too much thought.

4. Gauge how quickly your partner is leaning in and try to meet at the halfway point between you, so neither person is overextended. Over/under extension can make one person feel like they are not getting met and are either too aggressive, or not engaged enough.

If you have come this far with your partner chances are you are going to kiss, or you have misread the entire situation and they are just leaning in to look at something stuck in your teeth.
If the first is true, then read on because it's time to pucker up and get on with THE KISS.

If you're not the one

2008-07-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms...?

Beautiful Country to Night

2008-07-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

Singapore

Toronto

Paris

Niagara Falls

London

161 Condom Slogans

2008-07-13T00:54:00.000-07:00

1) Cover your stump before you hump
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
4) When in doubt shroud you spout
5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
11) She won't get sick if you wrap your d***
12) If you go into heat, package your meat
13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18) The right selection, is to protect your erection
19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
20) A crank with armor, will never harm her
21) If you really love her, wear a cover
22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake
23) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket
25) No glove, no love
26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye
27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver
28) No one likes a horses ass, protect yourself at climax
29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the ****
30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown
31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam
32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink
34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground
35) Cloak the joker before you poke her
36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch
37) Cape your throbber before you bob her
38) After detection sheath your erection
39) Before you penetrate hide your magistrate
40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser
41) Cover that lumber before you pump her
42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle
43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle
44) House your noodle then release your strudel
45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound
46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
47) Cage that snake then shake and bake
48) Cover your peter it will be much neater
49) Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore
50) It's always funky to cage your monkey
51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy
52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb
53) It's not much money to catch your honey
54) Don't be a fool cover your tool
55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch
56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche
57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool
58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive
59) Contain that sputum before you use him
60) Restrain your log then plow her bog
61) Glove your pecker before you check her
62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her
63) Condomize then womanize (or sodomize)
64) Cover old pete then grind her meat
65) Guard your peter before you meet her
66) Check your list before you tryst
67) Wrap your bate before you mate
68) Can your worm before you squirm
69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe
70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard
71) Bag the mole then do her hole
72) Cuff your carrot before you share it
73) Jail your number then call the plumber
74) Cover your vein then drive her insane
75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle
76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink
77) Restrain your lantern then stick it in her cavern
78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry
79) Wrap that spout then bore her out
80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain
81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge >
82) Shroud your trout then make her shout
83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky
84) Box your blister then poke her in the whiskers
85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout
86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel
87) Cover your steamer before you ream her
88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish
89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass
90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret
91) Clothe the boner before you hone her
92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection!
93) Cork your pump or you don't hump
94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs
95) Dress that erection to make a deflection
96) Contain that shanker before you spank her
97) Cap that seeder before you breed her
98) Stop the stream before you cream
99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder
100) Protect your screw to catch that glue
101) Package your meat for a real neat treat
102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun
103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her
104) Garage the tractor then attack her
105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her
106) Sock that wanger before you bang her
107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
108) Trim your hardwood then do her real good
109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke
110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate
111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate
112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates
113) Catch that goat before it bloats
114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen
115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her
116) Prune that stalk then make her squawk
117) Wrap that rod then please her bod
118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
119) House that bottle then mash her throttle
120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash
121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
122) Can your knob then throb her swab
123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug
124) Cover your limb before you swim
125) Retain your bailer then impail her
126) Rope your dope then make some soap
127) Net your salamander then make salad in her
128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper
129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
130) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft
131) Cover your stone before you bone
132) House your hose then curl her toes
133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass
134) Blanket your twitch then hump that b****
135) Shield your rocks then pond her box
136) Cover old sly then do her dry
137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail
138) Glove your chimney before you come in me
139) If your nude tube your dude
140) Cloak your hitter then go split her
141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her
142) Can your spam then bam that mam
143) Corral your ram then slice her ham
144) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
145) Twist your wick then stick that prick
146) Cover old Bart then dart her tart
147) Shed old spot then do her slot
148) Drawer your pip then split her lips
149) Contain that leach then mash her peach
150) Bag your elm then take the helm
151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem
152) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot
154) Survey your land then plant her stand
155) Before you drive her protect that diver
156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
157) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her
158) Cover you post then slice her roast
159) Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey
160) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon
161) Contain that viper before you pipe her

Ten Secrets to be a better person

2008-07-13T00:46:00.000-07:00

The FIRST secret - the power of THOUGHT. Love begins with our thoughts. We
become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving
relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and
ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his or her needs and
desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognise her when you
meet her.

The SECOND secret - the power of RESPECT.
You cannot love anyone or anything
unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself.
To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, What do I respect about myself? -
To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, What do I
respect about them? -

The THIRD secret - the power of GIVING. If you want to receive love, all you
have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To
love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of
kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will
be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The
secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on
what you can give instead of what you can take.

The FOURTH secret - the power of FRIENDSHIP. To find a true love, you must first
find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other"s eyes, but
rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone
completely you must love him or her for who they are and not for what they look
like. Friendship is the soil through which love seeds grow. If you want to bring
love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The FIFTH secret - the power of TOUCH. Touch is one of the most powerful
expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch
changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.
The SIXTH secret - the power of LETTING GO. If you love something, let it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn"t, it never was. Even in a
loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love,
we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love
means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. Today I let go
of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new
life. -

The SEVENTH secret - the power of COMMUNICATION. When we learn to communicate
openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them.
Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be
afraid to say those three magic words: I Love You Never let an opportunity pass
to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could
be the last time you see him or her. If you were about to die but could make
telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say
and .. why are you waiting?

The EIGHTH secret -
The power of COMMITMENT. If you want to have love in
abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in
your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the TRUE test of love. If you want to
have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When
you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option.
Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The NINTH secret - the power of PASSION. Passion ignites love and keeps it
alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes
from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be
recreated by recreating past experiences. When you felt passionate spontaneity
and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same;
all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The TENTH secret -
the power of TRUST. Trust is essential in all loving
relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and
the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love
someone completely unless you trust him or her completely. Act as if your
relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can
tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, . Do I trust them
completely and unreservedly? - If the answer is no -, think carefully before
making a commitment

The Theory oh Reflexivity

2008-07-13T00:43:00.000-07:00

by:soros

The theory holds, in the most general terms, that the way philosophy and natural science have taught us to look at the world is basically inappropriate when we are considering events which have thinking participants. Both philosophy and natural science have gone to great lengths to separate events from the observations which relate to them. Events are facts and observations are true or false, depending on whether or not they correspond to the facts.

This way of looking at things can be very productive. The achievements of natural science are truly awesome, and the separation between fact and statement provides a very reliable criterion of truth. So I am in no way critical of this approach. The separation between fact and statement was probably a greater advance in the field of thinking than the invention of the wheel in the field of transportation.

But exactly because the approach has been so successful, it has been carried too far. Applied to events which have thinking participants, it provides a distorted picture of reality. The key feature of these events is that the participants’ thinking affects the situation to which it refers. Facts and thoughts cannot be separated in the same way as they are in natural science or, more exactly, by separating them we introduce a distortion which is not present in natural science, because in natural science thoughts and statements are outside the subject matter, whereas in the social sciences they constitute part of the subject matter. If the study of events is confined to the study of facts, an important element, namely, the participants’ thinking, is left out of account. Strange as it may seem, that is exactly what has happened, particularly in economics, which is the most scientific of the social sciences.

Classical economics was modeled on Newtonian physics. It sought to establish the equilibrium position and it used differential equations to do so. To make this intellectual feat possible, economic theory assumed perfect knowledge on the part of the participants. Perfect knowledge meant that the participants’ thinking corresponded to the facts and therefore it could be ignored. Unfortunately, reality never quite conformed to the theory. Up to a point, the discrepancies could be dismissed by saying that the equilibrium situation represented the final outcome and the divergence from equilibrium represented temporary noise. But, eventually, the assumption of perfect knowledge became untenable and it was replaced by a methodological device which was invented by my professor at the London School of Economics, Lionel Robbins, who asserted that the task of economics is to study the relationship between supply and demand; therefore it must take supply and demand as given. This methodological device has managed to protect equilibrium theory from the onslaught of reality down to the present day.

It may seem strange that a patently false theory should gain such widespread acceptance, except for one consideration; that is, that all our theories about social events are distorted in some way or another. And that is the starting point of my theory, the theory of reflexivity, which holds that our thinking is inherently biased. Thinking participants cannot act on the basis of knowledge. Knowledge presupposes facts which occur independently of the statements which refer to them; but being a participant implies that one’s decisions influence the outcome. Therefore, the situation participants have to deal with does not consist of facts independently given but facts which will be shaped by the decision of the participants. There is an active relationship between thinking and reality, as well as the passive one which is the only one recognized by natural science and, by way of a false analogy, also by economic theory.

Get a Leg Up

2008-06-29T01:20:00.000-07:00

Aktifitas Penyimpangan

2008-06-29T01:14:00.000-07:00

"PEEPING TOM, Ketika Penyimpangan Dijadikan Hiburan"

Aktifitas making love sejatinya dilakukan secara private dan tanpa dilihat orang, namun bagaimana jika aktifitas ML dijadikan sebagai tontonan?

Aktifitas making love sejatinya dilakukan secara private dan tanpa dilihatorang. Namun adakalanya seseorang berusaha melihatnya, misalnya denganmengintip. Ditinjau dari sudut psikologi, mengintip orang yang sedangberhubungan intim dapat dikategorikan sebagai perilaku menyimpang ataumengalami kelainan seksual. Lalu bagaimana jika aktifitas ML dijadikan sebagaitontonan, siapakah yang melakukan penyimpangan?

Malam belum begitularut ketika sepasang sahabat sepakat bertemu di sebuah club yang selalu merekadatangi ketika ingin berburu nafsu hedonis. Meski tak rutin, paling tidaksebulan sekali Dani dan Peter (kita sapa saja keduanya dengan nama itu)berkunjung ke club ini. “Sekadar mengendurkan syaraf-syaraf yang tegang usaidikejar tenggat,” kata Dani berargumentasi.

Tentu yang dimaksud adalah untuk menghilangkan stres usai menuntaskanpekerjaan yang lumayan menyita tenaga, pikiran dan waktu. Maklum, kedualaki-laki lajang yang bekerja pada kantor yang sama ini memang dikenal sebagaipetualang hiburan malam, mulai dari yang hanya sekadar clubbing hingga beraromahedonis.

Meski club HS sudah sering mereka datangi, tak pernah muncul rasa bosan.Selalu saja ada keinginan untuk datang lagi. Maklum, club yang masih tergolongbaru ini selalu memiliki inovasi-inovasi baru dalam meng-create programuntuk tamu dan pelanggan mereka. Seperti malam itu, kedua sahabat karib inidatang karena ingin mencoba menu hiburan yang baru saja ‘matang’.

“Apalagi neh?” tanya Peter ketika Dani mengajak untuk mencobamenu baru.

“Peeping Tom,” kata Dani.

Tersentak Peter begitu mendengar jawaban Dani.

“Gila… Buat apa ngintip segala, kalau kita bisa mendapatkan danmelakukannya langsung. Penyakit itu, sob,” Peter bersungut-sungut.

“Tenang dulu, sob. Ini tak seperti yang elu bayangin. Iniada seninya. Namanya juga menu hiburan. Pokoknya tenang aja, ntar elu juga tahu. Lagi pula ini nggak bikin ketagihan kok.Penasaran aja pengen tahu seperti apa,” Dani menjelaskan.

Penasaran adalah kata ampuh untuk membenarkan suatu tindakan. Salah satusifat manusia adalah rasa ingin tahu, apalagi terhadap sesuatu yang belumpernah dilihat dan dirasakan. Dalam konteks saat itu, rasa ingin tahu Danimungkin tak berlebihan. Berdasarkan informasi yang dia dapat peeping tom yang ini tidak sama dengan peeping tom yang berlaku umum. Artinya bukanmengintip dari balik dinding yang bolong atau sengaja dibolongi. Meskipunobjeknya adalah pasangan yang sedang ML.

Bagi orang-orang tertentu mengintip membuatnya senang, bahkan mampumencapai kepuasan. Mereka yang senang mengintip bahkan tak peduli denganaktifitas objek yang diintip. Boleh jadi orang-orang tanpa aktifitas atausedang duduk-duduk saja tapi mengenakan pakaian yang menggoda. Atau yang lebihekstrim sedang mandi, bahkan sedang ML sekalipun. Bagi mereka mengintip menjadisebuah hobi yang harus dilakukan. Menimbulkan kecanduan.

Perilaku menyimpang ini memang didasarkan untuk memuaskan libido sipelaku yang umumnya adalah pria. Menurut beberapa referensi, kebiasan buruk inibukan cerita baru. Pada zaman Romawi bahkan ada cerita seorang pria dijebloskanke penjara setelah dilaporkan ke pihak berwajib lantaran tertangkap tangan mengintip.Tak tanggung-tanggung, yang melaporkan adalah suami dari wanita yang diintip.

Menurut pakar seks, kebiasaan itu merupakan dorongan yang tidakterkendali untuk secara diam-diam mengintip atau melihat lawan jenis yangtelanjang, melepaskan pakaian atau melakukan kegiatan seksual. Pelakumendapatkan kepuasan seksual dari kegiatan mengintip itu. Mengintip akhirnyamenjadi cara eksklusif untuk mendapatkan kepuasan seksual. Anehnya, pelakutidak punya keberanian untuk berhubungan badan dengan wanita yang diintip.

GRUP. Menikmati hiburan bertajuk ‘Peeping Tom’bukanlah rencana Dani sejak awal. Secara kebetulan, begitu tiba di club HS,Dani bertemu Andy di toilet. Andy, bukan nama sebenarnya, dan Dani dulunyasama-sama kuliah di Australia, tapi beda perguruan tinggi. Sama dengan Dani danPeter, Andy juga menyukai dunia hiburan malam, lengkap dengan pernak-perniknya.

Malam itu, Andy datang bersama dua orang temannya, Dino dan Joe, jugabukan nama sebenarnya. Keduanya belum sekalipun bertemu atau berkenalan denganDani. Tapi malam itu, karena hobi yang sama, mereka resmi menjadi teman,termasuk dengan dengan Peter.

“Tawaran tadi, selain menuntaskan rasa penasaran, sekaligus inginmenghormati ajakan sahabatku ini,” kata Dani memberi alasan.

Andylah yang punya niat untuk mencicipi menu Peeping Tom ini.Keinginan itu semakin memungkinkan terwujud setelah bertemu Dani di toilet.Soalnya, selain belum mengenal bentuk dan jenisnya, mereka ingin menjadikanmenu ini untuk dinikmati beramai-ramai. “Biar seru aja!” begitu alasanAndy.

Sajian Peeping Tom ini bersifat private dan hanya dapat dipesandi tempat tertentu. Para peserta mestilah satu grup kecil maksimal 8 orang.Tapi tidak tertutup kemungkinan diikuti dua atau tiga orang saja. Namun tidakdisebutkan apakah boleh satu orang saja. Pembatasan ini dilakukan untukmenyesuaikan dengan keadaan ruangan yang tidak terlalu besar. Para pesertadiharuskan satu rombongan dan saling mengenal satu sama lain.

Hal ini ada hubungannya dengan fee yang harus dibayarkan untukmenyaksikan menu Peeping Tom. Berbeda dengan menyaksikan hiburan atautontonan yang dikenakan per individu, tontonan ini diberlakukan untukrombongan. Jika tamu tidak saling mengenal mungkin akan kesulitan dalammengatur uang dan sikap saat menonton. Untuk satu paket tontonan ini dikenakanbiaya Rp3,5 juta untuk satu kali sesi berdurasi satu jam.

Ketika semuanya sepakat untuk menikmati sajian Peeping Tom,rombongan yang terdiri lima pria hedonis ini pun bergerak meninggalkan lounge tempat mereka bertemu. Oleh seorang waiter mereka diajak menaiki liftmenuju salah satu kamar yang tersedia di club tersebut. Club HS terdiri daribeberapa lantai yang berbeda-beda fungsinya. Lantai bawah merupakan lounge yang berfungsi menjadi diskotik menjelang tengah malam.

Di lounge ini sering diadakan beberapa event berupa party.Setiap kali event besar selalu diisi dengan fashion show,pertunjukan sexy dancer dan DJ performance. Sejauh ini club inibelum pernah menggelar pertunjukan band atau semacamnya. Boleh jadi karenatempatnya tidak memungkinkan. Sementara di lantai dua terdapat restoran yangtidak begitu besar.

Di lantai berikutnya terdapat sejumlah ruangan karaoke yang terdiri dariberbagai tipe, dari tipe standar hingga suite. Ukurannya pun bervariasi,mulai dari yang mampu memuat 6 hingga belasan orang. Satu lantai di atasnyaterdapat sejumlah kamar yang dapat disewa secara part time atau transit.Di salah satu kamar inilah rombongan Dani dan kawan-kawan dibawa oleh waiter.Ukuran cukup luas dengan fasilitas tempat tidur dan kamar mandi yang cukupmewah.

Hingga di sini tanda tanya masih menyeruak di hati rombongan ini. Rasapenasaran makin membuncah hingga sang waiter mulai memberi sedikitgambaran tentang tontonan yang akan mereka saksikan berikut. “Seperti tadisudah diberi tahu di bawah, durasinya berlangsung kira-kira satu jam. Kalau adayang dibutuhkan sebaiknya diorder sekarang. Tujuannya supaya saat menyaksikanpertunjukan nanti, bos-bos tidak terganggu,” kata sang waiter.

“Tapi acaranya sendiri seperti apa?” tanya Peter.

“Pokoknya sebuah tontonan penuhsensasional. Belum pernah ada di tempat lain,” katanya membuat hati semakinpenasaran.

“Tenang aja sob, bentar lagi juga bakal tahu. Mending saat ini kita order makanan dan minuman. Biar nanti nggak kelaparan,”tutur Dani menengahi.

Sembari masih menahan rasa penasaran Andy lebih dahulu berinisiatifmemesan makanan. Yang lain pun demikian, masing-masing ikut pula memesanmakanan sesuai selera. ‘Benar juga tuh, mending order sekarangdaripada nanti konsentrasinya terganggu,” Andi menimpali.

SETTING. Begitu waiter selesai mencatat minuman dan makan yang di-order anggota grup ini,terdengar bel dipencet dari luar. Saat pintu dibuka oleh waiter,terlihat dua orang laki-laki dan seorang perempuan berdiri di ambang pintu.Yang perempuan mengenakan lingerie berwarna hitam, kontras dengan kulitnya yangputih. Potongan lingerie-nya memperlihatkan kemolekan tubuh pemiliknya. Dadanyayang cukup besar tampak membusung sehingga tak semuanya tertutup. Pada bahagianatas seolah ingin meloncat ke luar.

Salah satu dari kedua pria itu mengenakancelana pentalon hitam dan kaos oblong ketat. Serta merta otot-ototnya tergambarjelas, pada bagian lengan maupun dada. Perutnya pun rata. Rambutnya yang ikalnamun tak begitu panjang dipotong rapi sehingga mengesankan orangnya bersih dantelaten. Sedangkan pria yang satu lagi, menilik pakaian yang dia gunakan,tampaknya sebagai papi dari pasangan ini.

“Baiklah, bapak-bapak sekalian. Kami berharapapa yang akan Anda saksikan sebentar lagi mampu membuat Anda puas dan terkesan.Sajian ini hanya ada di sini dan belum pernah ada di tempat lain. Perlu kamijelaskan, Anda hanya sebagai penonton, tidak boleh ikut terlibat dalampermainan,” terang sang petugas panjang lebar. Tak lupa pula dia memberibatasan hingga wilayah mana saja tamu-tamu boleh berdiri.

Andy dan rombongannya hanya mampumengangguk-angguk. Tak jelas benar apakah mereka telah paham atau karena taksabar. Yang pasti tak ada lagi pertanyaan yang muncul dari mereka. Seiringdengan itu, sang petugas lalu mempersilakan sepasang anak manusia yangbersamanya tadi untuk memulai pekerjaannya. Sementara dia sendiri mengundurkandiri ke luar setelah sebelumnya mengurangi pencahayaan di kamar itu.

Seiring meredupnya lampu di dalam kamar, sangpria dan wanita ber-lingerie hitam itu mengambil posisi di atas ranjang. Secaraperlahan mereka mulai saling bercumbu. Tak nampak rasa kikuk di antara mereka.Keberadaan Dany dan kawan-kawan di sekitar mereka tak begitu dihiraukan.Meskipun cahaya lampu telah redup, ekspresi wajah mereka saat bercumbu masihjelas terlihat.

Seperti layaknya pasangan yang dimabuk cinta,keduanya tampak menikmati aktifitas yang mereka lakukan. Tangan mereka salingmeraba, bibir mereka saling bertaut. Lenguh suara mereka penuh nafsu. Persisseperti foreplay dalam film-film biru. Meski masih sama-sama mengenakanbusana keduanya terlihat mulai tak terkendali.

Andy dan kawan-kawan yang menonton di sisiranjang saling berpandangan. Mereka mulai menyadari ternyata sajian peepingtom yang dimaksud adalah melihat langsung permainan birahi dari sepasanganak manusia. Sesuai dengan penjelasan terdahulu, mereka hanya boleh menonton,tidak diperkenankan untuk berinteraksi atau terlibat dalam permainan.

Sepertinya mereka terbawa pertunjukan yangsedang berlangsung. Bunyi bel yang pertama dan kedua tak mereka hiraukan. Saatbel berbunyi untuk yang ketiga kali, barulah salah seorang di antara merekaberinisiatif membuka pintu. Di ambang pintu telah berdiri waiter membawakan makan dan minuman yang tadi mereka order.

Saat waiter masuk, permainan di atasranjang terus berlangsung. Pasangan itu benar-benar dimabuk cinta, mereka samasekali tak menghiraukan siapapun yang ada di situ. Kalaupun ada yang terganggukonsentrasinya tentu saja lima orang yang tengah menonton. Namun hanya sesaat.Begitu pesanan mereka ditaruh di tempatnya, dan waiter berlalu dariruangan itu, kelimanya kembali larut dalam tontonan. Mereka menjadi tak sabar,apa kelanjutan dari adegan yang tengah berlangsung?

Rasa penasaran mereka sama seperti orang-orangyang memiliki kebiasaan mengintip. Saat pertama kali melihat objeknya di baliklubang intipan, dia mulai penasaran, ‘Adegan apalagi setelah ini?’ ‘Akankah diabuka baju?’ Begitu pertanyaan itu terjawab, akan muncul lagi pertanyaan berikutnya.‘Apalagi?’ ‘Apalagi?’ Kalau misalnya yang diintip adalah pasangan suami-isteri,pertanyaannya adalah, ‘Apakah mereka akan berhubungan intim?’ Begitu terussampai akhirnya dia menyaksikan setahap demi setahap pemandangan yang terlihatdari tempatnya mengintip.

Rasa penasaran itu akhirnya terjawab jugaketika kedua anak manusia berlainan jenis itu mulai melepas pakaian lawanmainnya. Yang pria melepas lingerie sang wanita, demikian pula sebaliknyahingga mereka benar-benar tanpa busana sama sekali. Manakala keduanya telahtelanjang bulat, adegan yang muncul tak beda jauh dengan tayangan film pornoyang banyak beredar di lapak-lapak kaki lima.

Jika adegan seperti itu tak lagi canggungmereka lakukan, dapat ditebak adegan selanjutnya akan terus berlangsung hinggakeduanya sama-sama mencapai klimaks. Sesuatu yang ingin ditunggu kelima priapetualangan birahi ini. Paling tidak rasa penasaran mereka tentang bagaimanaakhir dari permainan itu akan segera terjawab seiring dengan berakhirnya waktu.

Paling tidak spirit inilah yang dimunculkandari menu yang disuguhkan ini. Meski tak sepenuhnya sebagai ‘peeping tom’, tapiaroma yang muncul mendekati ke arah itu. Adanya aturan yang melarang penontonterlibat dalam permainan membuktikan bahwa spirit peeping tom cukup terasa.Lain halnya jika perempuan melakukan kegiatan yang membuat penasaran tamu,misalnya dengan mendatangi mereka sambil mempermainkan Mr P sang tamu.

suster sexy

2008-06-29T01:10:00.000-07:00

"Hospital Club ‘Suntikan’ Manjur Suster Sexy"

Sebuah club di Jakarta menawarkan sensasi lain bagi pria-pria hedonis. Berlagak ala suster, para wanita sexy ini menawarkan ‘perawatan’ paripurna demi ‘kesembuhan’ sang pasien. Hebatnya, tanpa obat dan tanpa jarum suntik.

JARUM jam menunjuk di angka 11 malam ketika kaki menapak di lantai dua sebuah club. Di hadapan mata terdapat sebuah ruangan penerima tamu yang tak seberapa luas. Dua sisinya terpakai oleh dua baris tempat duduk, sementara meja di hadapannya cukup tinggi, kira-kira nyaris sedada pria dewasa.

Di atas meja tersebut terpampang foto-foto wanita lengkap dengan nomornya yang tertera di sudut kiri atas foto. Si penerima tamu terdiri dari dua orang, satu pria, satunya lagi wanita. Keduanya menghadap ke sisi yang berlawanan. Sebuah monitor komputer menghadap ke si wanita, sementara si pria terlihat sibuk mengangkat dan menutup telepon.

Foto-foto yang memadati permukaan meja yang berbentuk huruf L itu bernomor urut acak. Di pojok kiri misalnya bernomor 4, sedangkan di sebelahnya bernomor 89, di atasnya bernomor 107.

Cahaya yang menerangi tempat ini lumayan terang. Wajah-wajah close up di foto tersebut sebagian besar terlihat cukup menarik, dan dikemas secara apik. Menengok ke dinding sebelahnya, tergantung sebuah kotak besar yang berisi semacam tanda bulat bernomor. Tanda nomor ini cukup banyak, tak kurang dari 200 nomor.

Malam itu, jumlah yang tertutup lebih banyak dibanding yang terbuka. Sebagian tamu sibuk memperhatikan foto-foto di permukaan meja, sementara sebagian lagi tampak mencermati nomor-nomor yang masih terbuka yang tergantung sebuah kotak besar yang berada di dinding. Memastikan bahwa nomor wanita yang ia inginkan masih available, atau sedang ‘sibuk bekerja’.

Sex Positions Image Gallery

2008-06-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

Images of Basic Sex Positions

Finding the best sex position takes creativity and experimentation. Many people are looking for new sex positions, curious about the most popular sex positions, or trying to find sex positions that are comfortable and functional. Learning about sex positions can be made much easier by seeing images of sex positions.

The sex positions images in this gallery cover basic sex positions, all demonstrated through the assistance of our wooden models (lets call them A & B). Remember that the best sex position is the one that is physically comfortable, and allows you do what you want.

A Child Born Already Drunk!

2008-06-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

It happened in Poland
By: Stefan Anitei, Science Editor

Lack of maternal instinct or severe alcoholism? Polish police announced on Friday that a baby came into the world under the influence of alcohol as his mother was drunk while giving birth!

Doctors took the decision of checking his blood-alcohol level when they saw the mother’s condition. What they saw left them speechless. Tests made 12 hours after the boy's birth uncovered a level of 1.2 grammes of alcohol per 1,000 grammes of blood. Translated to an adult drinker, this would mean a bottle of wine or two
liters of beer.

To understand the alcohol level in the baby's blood, just learn that blood-alcohol limit for drivers in Poland is 0.2 grammes, six times less than that found in the children's blood. The boy had five pounds, seven ounces (2.45 kg) at birth and was drunk before he was even born.

The baby entered in intensive care on Friday, and even if his condition was stable, he could have remained with long lasting brain damage. The 34-year-old mother fled the hospital in Zabrze (in south Poland) after the birth on Tuesday but she was arrested next day, when tests found no traces of alcohol in her blood.

"The woman is already the mother of five children. Their grandparents have custody because she has (already) been deprived of her parental rights," said police spokesperson Marek Wypych.

Studies have revealed not only that the brains of alcoholic individuals are smaller than those of non-alcoholic ones, due to their heavy alcohol intake, but also that their children have smaller brains.

Parents' alcoholism renders their children more prone to alcoholism than the children of non-alcoholic individuals. Besides the adverse genetics, the first children experience harmful biological and psychological factors like poor diets (from the mother’s womb and after, since alcoholic parents usually disregard food), unstable parental relationships, and alcohol exposure before birth.

Google’s Baby Delivery Service - On Demand Only

2008-06-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

At the moment, there are only two experienced employees
By: Vlad Constandes, SEO News Editor

It’s not the next step in cyber-parenting, it’s not even the announcement of a new service that might be rolled out in an indefinite future, it’s just the strange happenings of two of the Googlers that were lucky enough each to lend a hand in the delivery of two babies.

Matthew, an engineer in the
Seattle/Kirkland office according to the official Google blog, arrived at work as usual but found that his expectant colleague Min was home sick. Nothing to worry about, he thought, as he knew that she was not due for another 17 days but he emailed her just to make sure it’s ok. I would have personally used the phone for this job, I’m not all that email-involved-for-solving-everything but it looks like working in that particular field might do that to you. Min responded that she had thought that contractions had happened earlier but that everything was OK at the moment.

Just fifteen minutes later, he received a second email asking for his help with getting to the hospital right away. Of course he dropped everything that he was doing and rushed to her side and just as he entered her house she announced him that "The baby’s out." All that was left for Matthew to do is to declare that "it’s a boy" and wait for the ambulance that arrived seconds later.

The second to have such an experience was Jessica, one of the Mountain View tech writers who was on her way to the office from San Francisco. She noticed a man on the side of the street next to a car waving his hands so she naturally stopped to ask what was going on and to lend a hand. It was just then when she noticed the woman that was stretched and screaming in the backseat of the SUV she had stopped next to. Remembering her own experience, she tried her best to calm the family and answer their questions and did that for about 10 minutes until the police came and took over but by the time that happened, the baby was already born.

More Vitamin B9, Less Diformed Babies

2008-06-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

Folic acid-enriched flour, found to cut off by half the number of congenital deformations

By: Stefan Anitei, Science Editor

You can eat as much meat, green vegetables, fruit, whole grains as you want, but it seems that even so there is not enough folic acid (vitamin B9) for a pregnant mother and the child she's carrying.

A team led by Dr. Philippe De Wals of Université Laval’s Department of Social and Preventive Medicine has shown that the addition of folic acid to flours has induced a 46% decrease of the cases of congenital neural tube deformation (especially anencephaly and spina bifida) in Canada. These conditions lead to major health
problems, from physical and learning disabilities to the state of a "vegetable", as the neural tube develops the nervous system.

Lack of folic acid has been correlated with poor development of the neural tube. Before 1998, Canadian medical doctors were already recommending for women in their child-bearing years the consumption of vitamin supplements containing vitamin B9.
"Canada decided to add folic acid to all flour produced in the country because formation of the neural tube in embryos is particularly intense during the first four weeks of pregnancy, which is before a lot of women even know they’re pregnant. Since half of Canadian pregnancies are unplanned and the human body can’t store folic acid, it is better to integrate folic acid into the food chain than to focus exclusively on taking vitamin supplements," stated De Wals.

De Wals' team assessed the rate of neural tube deformations before and after the introduction of folic acid–enriched flours in the case of more than 2 million Canadian births. If between 1993 and 1997, the rate was 1.58 per 1,000 births, this dropped between 2000 and 2002 by 46% to 0.86.

The highest improvement took place in the Canadian provinces with the highest rates of neural tube deformation before 1998: Newfoundland, Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia. In Québec, the decrease was also significant, but closer to the Canadian average.

For the moment, only Canada, US and Chile require vitamin B9 to be added to flour. The new research could encourage other countries, too, to do this.

Annually, about 200,000 cases of spina bifida and anencephaly are registered around the globe. The folic acid added to food could cut off that level by half.

Cocaine Intake Means Dumber Children

2008-06-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

It affects attention

Cocaine and making children do not combine. It's clear that maternal drug can induce lasting effects on children.

A new research reveals that young schoolchildren of cocaine-using mothers performed more poorly on attention tests. The investigation was made on 415 African-American children when aged 5 or 7 (now 14 to 16 years old) from a poor population living in the Miami inner city.
219 of the children had mothers who had taken cocaine while pregnant, while the others 196 had not. Those born to cocaine-addicted mothers presented more trouble paying attention than the other kids and were more likely to commit omission errors. They also displayed slower reaction times when put to solve different tasks.

"This study provides further evidence of a subtle but consistent effect on attention through early school-aged years," said lead author Veronica Accornero, assistant professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Miami.

Still, these effects are significantly weaker than those induced by alcohol and tobacco consume.

"Children born to cocaine-using mothers are doing much better than anyone predicted, especially considering their background," said Tamara Warner, research assistant professor at the University of Florida.

There was a general concern after the crack epidemic of the 1980s, about the future of the so-called "crack babies". But the general effects "appear to be more subtle and specific than initially believed," Accornero further said.

"The children do not appear to have a hard time with "intellectual functioning," although they might have difficulties with language, attention and behavior. Certainly, attention and the ability to maintain attention is an important skill that supports the development of other skills like language and behavior," Accornero concluded.

"It’s possible that because of subtle deficits we may see an effect on academic performance."

Pregnancy Length Varies Genetically Amongst Human Races

2008-06-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

White women carry their child longer
By: Stefan Anitei, Science Editor

A new British research found a very different pattern amongst races and the possibility of complications during labor, whether before, during or after
giving birth.

South Asian women are at a higher risk of delivering babies prone to perinatal mortality (death before, during or shortly after birth) compared to black or white women.

The World Health Organization states as post-term pregnancy when it passes of 41 weeks from the first day of the last menstrual period.

Post-term pregnancy is connected to increased perinatal mortality, that's why often the physicians induce the labor at 41 weeks to avoid risks.

But the new research points out that the average length of gestation differs between racial groups. This period is shorter in Asian and black women, thus complications may occur before the 41 weeks in these categories.

Researchers from London and Bristol tested this theory by studying whether the risks of post-term birth complications increased earlier during pregnancy in South Asian and black women compared with white women. The investigators had at their disposal over 197,000 white, South Asian and black women who were expecting their first child and who delivered a single baby weighing at least 500 grams at 24 to 43 weeks.

They discovered that the perinatal mortality varied significantly linked to the racial group. The mortality level among black women was lower before 32 weeks than among white women, but after this period, the black women were more prone to delivering still babies. "Perinatal mortality was highest among south Asian women at all gestational ages and increased the fastest at term. The most important risk factor for antepartum stillbirth in white women was placental abruption, but the most important factor in south Asian and black women was birth weight below 2,000 grams", noted the researchers.

The research discovered that there are genetic variations in gestational length amongst races and higher fetal surveillance and growth monitoring from 40, rather than 41 weeks' gestation is required for South Asian and black women. In south Asian women, the mortality was found higher for every factor, like congenital abnormality, fever, maternal body mass index and abruption to the placenta.

Sex After Pregnancy

2008-06-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Sex after pregnancy: Let your body set the pace

You've just delivered a baby. Is it safe to have sex? Will it hurt? What if you're not interested? Here are answers to common questions about sex after pregnancy.
Sex after pregnancy happens. Honestly. But first, vaginal soreness and sheer exhaustion are likely to take a toll. Whether you're in the mood or sex is the last thing on your mind, here's what you need to know about sex after pregnancy.

After the baby is born, how soon can I have sex?

Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. Many doctors recommend waiting four to six weeks before resuming intercourse. This allows time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal.

But the other important timeline is your own. Some women feel ready to resume sex within a few weeks of giving birth, while others need a few months — or even longer. Factors such as fatigue, postpartum blues and changes in body image may take a toll on your sex drive.

The Spider Web

2008-06-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Both you and your guy lie on your sides, facing each other. Lean in close together and scissor your legs through his so you're superclose and he's deep inside you as he enters you. While thrusting, hold on to each other for leverage and ultimate friction.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Rather than typical in-and-out thrusting, this sexual web your bodies create lets you and your guy please each other with grinding, circular motions. Try gyrating your hips in circles around his member for an incredible erotic explosion. It's a tight-together fit that generates lots of tension, yet lets you kiss, nibble, and stroke each other while doing the deed. You can reach behind and rake your nails lightly along his back, causing spine-tingling sexy shivers — a major erotic move he may not expect, but one that will make him moan even more.

Let your fingers venture even further south and surprise him by reaching back and stroking his perineum, the area below his anus that's rich in nerve endings. But make sure you're just about to reach your peak, because this move is sure to speed up his arrival of the Big O.

The Torrid Triangle

2008-06-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
At first glance, you might think this is just the same routine missionary position with him on top and you on the bottom. But, of course, there's a secret Cosmo superlift twist! With you underneath him, ask him to get up on all fours. Then raise your pelvis up to meet his penis. Tell him he has to stay put as you start moving your fanny up and down to get frisky.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Don't be fooled by being on the bottom — you're definitely the one calling all the shots here. By lifting your pelvis, you're in charge of the speed and timing of every thrust — so move according to your wanton whims. What's more, as long as he obeys your stay-still orders, you also decide the depth of the penetration — the harder you push, the deeper he goes and the more you (both) moan.
Take a moment and enjoy your power trip! Here's your chance to tease him mercilessly by thrusting only halfway onto him. This will concentrate all sensations on the supersensitive tip of his tool. Then, when he least expects it, take the plunge and go all the way for a surprise rush of pleasure.

The Sensual Spoon

2008-06-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Every couple knows how to assume the spoon: Lie on your side with your guy behind you. Keep both of your torsos in this doze pose and lift your top leg. Have him shift his lower body into a half-kneeling position, entering you from behind.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
This passion pose gives you the best of both worlds! The half-doggy-style, half-spooning hybrid combines the cozy intimacy of lying side by side with G-spot-rubbing penetration. Nothing beats having him holding you tight while taking you higher. Give him a gentle reminder that both his hands are free, guiding them to caress your curves and stimulate your clitoris. Up his ante by reaching behind, fondling his testicles, and stroking his perinium as he thrusts.

COSMO HINTIt doesn't take too much effort to get into this position, so try it out when he least expects it. After you two fall asleep spooning, wake your guy in the middle of the night and give it a whirl while you both are still half in dreamland. When you're done, fall back asleep with his arms wrapped snugly around you.

Pleasure Pick-Me-Up

2008-06-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Standing with his back against the edge of the bed (or even the washer or dryer), your stud picks you up with his hands cradling your bottom and the backs of your thighs. Wrap your legs around his waist (place your feet on the bed for support) and your arms around his neck and shoulders. As his penis enters you, you hang suspended from him, bouncing up and down with the help of his arms.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
For those who love a he-man, get ready for total ladylike delight, since you'll be bound in your strong stud's arms, totally suspended and at his orgasmic mercy. And the rapid-fire bouncy action provides a brand-new move — less in-and-out, more up-and-down. As he thrusts against your front vaginal wall, you're near enough for longing looks and deep kisses — essential ingredients for the ultimate coital connection.

Squeeze your thighs around his waist, lock your hands behind his neck, then carefully arch your back so your pelvic region nestles firmly with his. This wanton whimsical pose will up the erotic ante for you both.

Electric Slide

2008-06-25T16:29:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
You lie down on the bed or floor on your stomach, with your legs straight and slightly apart. Your guy sits right behind your buns with his legs in front of him and his hands on either side of his body for support. He leans back at a 45-degree angle to your body so he can join his genitals with yours. As he rocks forward and back, bring your legs together for a tight fit. Rest on your elbows with your arms in front of you for leverage.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
If your guy likes taking charge in bed, this position will let him be your passion pilot. He can glide back and forth as fast or sensually slow as he desires down the runway of your thighs. And since you're restricted from thrusting and grinding, you get to relax and completely relinquish control — allowing you to concentrate entirely on your pleasure. Plus, you get to enjoy the überhot element of surprise since you can't see which naughty nooky move he's planning to do next.

COSMO HINTTo add some extra sparks to this already electric pose, arch your back as much as possible. The change in position will cause your vaginal muscles to tighten, driving him wild!

Passion Propeller

2008-06-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Your man lies on top of you, entering you in traditional missionary style, but then — yowza! — he starts doing a 360-degree spin, all the while keeping his penis deep inside of you. As he's rotating and thrusting, help guide him around your body like a propeller would spin around the top of a helicopter. Make sure to lift his legs when they swing around over your head.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Once you make the 360-degree jaw-dropping journey, you and your man will feel like sexual dynamos and may even keep on spinning for rounds two, three, and four! Another plus of this topsy-turvy delight: As he's doing an around-your-world revolution, you finally get to view every inch of his body and barely have to move to reap big rewards — your propeller prince is doing all the work!
This randy ring around your rosie can make staying in sync tricky. If during his twisty travels you encounter some awkward private part match-up moments and it feels like he might just slip out, try placing a pillow under your butt to raise your pelvis a bit for easier access.

Joystick Joyride

2008-06-25T16:26:00.001-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Your man lies on the bed or floor on his back with his arms relaxed above his head. Straddle him on top and slide your legs straight out and forward, so that your feet are on either side of his shoulders. Hold his shins or push on the floor for leverage, and start swiveling your hips in figure-eight motions so you're moving his penis around inside like you would a joystick for a video game.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
For the independent gal, this megamomentum move gives you tons of freedom and literally adds an exciting twist to your typical in-out motion. You control the speed, direction, and overall activity level. And as you're swiveling, your boobs will be bouncing north, south, east, and west — an exhibitionist's dream.
Since you're calling the shots, tease and please him by surprising your game boy with unexpected hip twists: Vary your swivel with back-and-forth rubs, side-to-side fake-outs, and up-and-down dynamos. Not knowing what's coming next will make him feel like he's hit the high score.

The Randy Recliner

2008-06-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
This move requires a little equipment prep. Find a reclining lawn chair or bench (narrow enough for you to get your legs wound around), or line up three backless chairs. Have your man lie down with his arms at his side and his legs together. Facing his toes, straddle his lap and plant both feet on the ground. Next, back yourself down onto his penis. Start moving your hips, back and forth, up and down, and side-to-side — all while he enjoys the killer view of your pivoting posterior.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
This fresh entry angle gives you a sweet new sensation on the back wall of your vagina. Move your booty in circular motions around his penis to hit all your pleasure spots. Make sure not to hold back in the sound department so you both know how much the other is enjoying this randy recline ride.

Here's a way to send you both soaring: Fondle his testicles, his perineum (the area between his anus and his testicles), and your clitoris in one long, slow feel with your free hand. The extra attention to these most sensitive spots will enable the two of you to build up to outta-this-world orgasms.

The Head Game

2008-06-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Start this inverted delight by lying flat on the ground face up. With your hands supporting your lower back, lift your legs and backside way, way up so they're as perpendicular to the ground as you can get them. Have your man kneel before you, grab your ankles, and bring his knees to your shoulders. Then take his hands and ask him to hold your hips — that will steady you both. Hold his thighs for leverage and adjust so your genitals can join for some otherworldly upside-down action.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Getting into this position, you may feel like you're headed nowhere — but it's totally worth it once you experience the results. The blood rush from your thighs will intensify the sensations in the pelvic region. Plus, your legs are squeezed together over his shoulders, which guarantees a snug, scintillating fit for him.

Once you two are well on your way, pulse your legs ever-so-slightly. The added thigh movement will give him an extra rush in this already tight fit. Thrust your hips into his groin and arch your back as you move with him, turning you into a vibrating vixen he can't resist.

Bubbly Back Float

2008-06-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Recline in a hot tub with your arms stretched out to your sides, holding on to the edge of the tub for support if you need to. Your partner kneels between your legs, facing you, and lifts you by the backs of your thighs so you're floating off the seat and he can enter you.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Floating weightlessly gives you pelvic flexibility. You can experiment with aqua acrobatics that you couldn't manage on solid ground.

ituate yourself in front of a jet so the bubbles circulate below you, creating a tickly carnal current that will amp up the pleasure.

Get a Leg Up

2008-06-25T16:15:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Fill the tub with only a few inches of water, then turn on the shower and let it run lightly. Lie on your side, propped up on your forearm. (Bend your knees if you need to.) Lift your top leg, then have your man straddle your other leg. Once he's entered you, rest your lifted leg on his shoulder as he holds on to your elevated thigh for leverage.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
With your guy crouching between your legs, his pelvic bone rubs against your clitoris, treating you to a double dose of bliss. And, the cascading water hits both your bodies, showering you with massaging droplets.

Work him to a frenzy by stroking and lightly scratching his inner thigh. When he's near climax, gently tug his boys to send him over the edge.

Sex of the week, Sensual Shower

2008-06-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
This passionate pose will really steam up your bathroom mirror. Stand facing each other in the shower. Hug your partner as you wrap your left leg around his waist. He places his right hand under your thigh to keep you steady as he enters you. Meanwhile, his other hand is free to caress your face and run his fingers through your hair.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
You and your guy are up close and personal. Add the water pouring over you and this is a perfect position for lots of wet, passionate kissing. You can also gaze into each other's eyes, further boosting the intimacy factor.
Have your guy bend his right leg so you can grind your clitoris in small circles against his thigh, sending you into sensory overdrive.

The Spoon

2008-06-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

Obviously, you know emotional attachment is essential to achieving orgasm with your guy. And there's no configuration that's more snuggly than the spoon. To assume the position, simply lie on your side, your guy scooted up behind you.

. Rather than move in and out, he should stay inside you, gently thrusting against the front wall of your vagina. "Aside from fulfilling your cuddly needs, it provides consistent stimulation to your G-spot, which is key for achieving orgasm from intercourse," Berman points out. "Since he may not be able to penetrate you as deeply though, guide his hand around your hot spot." And just think: Once you've both climaxed, you'll be in perfect postcoital position as well.

Lusty Lap Dance

2008-06-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

This one's always a fan favorite — he sits and you straddle him so you're face-to-face.

"You have a lot of control over the speed, angle, and motion because you can use your arms and legs to help you maneuver," says Berman. "Rather than just moving up and down, which can be especially tiring for you, sway forward and back, rubbing your clitoral area against him." In addition to the freedom of movement, there are a few other benefits to this booty move. "If you lean back just a little bit, you'll get greater G-spot stimulation and he'll be able to play with your clitoris," Brame explains. Plus, your breasts will be perfectly aligned with his mouth, adding a whole other layer to the sexual experience.

Torrid Tabletop

2008-06-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

In some cases, a simple change of scenery can aid in achieving orgasm. For this move, you'll need a kitchen table

— one that comes to your man's waist. "Lie down on the table with your butt near the edge," suggests Solot. "He enters you while standing between your legs, holding on to your hips for leverage." You can rest your feet on his shoulders or on the edge of the table. Because he's standing, his hands are free to stroke your body," says Brame. "And he's at a perpendicular angle, rather than right on top of you, making it easier for him to touch your clitoris, unobstructed." To up your odds of orgasming, clench and lift up your butt, which will increase the pelvic tension and blood flow to the area.

The Giddy-Up

2008-06-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

Girl-on-top tends to be a go-to for achieving orgasm...

and for good reason! "It allows you to dictate the pace and depth of thrusting, but mainly, you have easy access to your clitoris," says Berman. "You can touch your C-spot, have him touch it, or rub against his pubic bone to achieve orgasm." But you can up the ante by literally pulling a 180. Twist around so you're pointed toward his feet in reverse cowgirl position. "Instead of straddling him, put your legs together, feet flat between his legs," suggests Brame. The benefits of this are twofold: With your legs together, the fit is even tighter, making the sensations more intense. Plus, there's increased G-spot stimulation, which combined with your own clitoral strokes, makes for an explosive orgasm.

The Criss-Cross

2008-06-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

With all the twisting and bending that goes on, sometimes sex can feel more like a cardio workout than a pleasurefest. That's why it's important to have at least one relaxed orgasm — inducing position in your repertoire.

Such as this: "While you're on your back, he should lie on his side, turned toward you," explains Solot. "Swing both legs over his hips and thighs, making a bridge over them." Then, just let him gently thrust into you. If it takes you a while to climax, this pose is ideal. "It's not very aerobic, so the sex can go on for a long time without either of you tiring out," says Laura Berman, PhD, director of the Berman Center and author of The Passion Prescription. "When you want to climax, it's easy to touch yourself or he can use his top hand to stimulate you."

Down Dog

2008-06-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

You've probably tried an all-fours pose before (at least, we hope you have!).

But while mentally the doggie-style position has great bad-girl benefits, in order to make it actually orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. "Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you," suggests Solot. "Your partner can prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you." Not only does this facedown configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

The Slow Climb

2008-06-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

The Slow Climb

ou'll never see missionary position the same way again. "While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you're folding in half," says Solot.

his move allows him better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration — a perk for both of you. Plus, it can stimulate your G-spot. But consider this a warm-up — you're getting the zone primed for a more intense orgasm. Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position. "He's on top, but he lifts his pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris," says sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. "Then he rocks against the area until you peak." "The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done CAT alone," adds Brame.

Sex Positions

2008-06-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

Your Orgasm -- Guaranteed!
We have seven positions that have been tweaked and tailored by sex experts to help you reach the peak every single time — plus, a few extra tricks so the road to bliss is even more of a sure thing.

When it's a mind-blowing, bed-rattling orgasm you're after, keeping it simple is absolutely key. Sure, wild, crazy,

never-knew-my-body-could-bend-that-way booty keeps your lust life exciting, but if the goal of the moment is to break pleasure records, you have to stick to the basics. "Trying to accomplish complicated acrobatics distracts you from the sex itself, putting your focus on how you can contort yourself, rather than on just experiencing the sensations," explains sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor of I (Heart) Female Orgasm. "When you want to climax, the simplest positions are often also the best positions, and with a few modifications, you can make them even more orgasm inducing than they already are." Don't worry, we'd never leave you hanging. Here, Cosmo custom-designed some of the carnal classics to make sure you always hit the high notes.

Gaya Bercinta yang Aman Ketika Hamil

2008-06-25T14:59:00.001-07:00

Melakukan hubungan seksual di kala sang istri sedang hamil, tentu ada hal-hal yang perlu diperhatikan, untuk menjamin keselamatan kehamilannya itu sendiri. Bagi istri Anda, hubungan seksual selama hamil bukan hanya sebuah aktivitas yang mengasyikkan, tapi juga bermanfaat sebagai persiapan bagi otot-otot panggulnya untuk menghadapi proses persalinan kelak. Karena itu, berhubungan seksual selama kehamilan tak perlu dihapus. Tentu saja jangan melakukan gaya-gaya yang aneh-aneh apalagi yang ekstrim, hanya dengan alasan sekadar menambah variasi.

Memang pada masa kehamilan trimester pertama, Anda berdua masih punya banyak pilihan posisi bercinta. Namun, setelah beberapa bulan kemudian pilihan posisi itu semakin terbatas. Berikut panduan gaya bercinta yang bisa Anda dan pasangan lakukan.

1. Posisi Misionaris

Perempuan di bawah dan pria di atas. Jika dilakukan saat istri tengan hamil tentu menjadi tidak nikmat, bahkan bisa menyakitkan bagi istri Anda, bahkan juga untuk Anda sendiri. Itu sebabnya, posisi berhubungan seksual yang bisa dilakukan selama istri hamil adalah variasi dengan posisi menyamping, perut istri Anda terbebas dari tindihan.

2. Perempuan di Atas, Pria di Bawah

Dengan posisi ini, Anda (terutama istri Anda), bisa mencegah penekanan terlalu banyak pada bagian perut dan payudara istri Anda, yang memang membahayakan kehamilannya. Posisi ini memungkinkan perempuan untuk memegang lebih banyak kendali atas gerakan. Istri dapat membuatnya lambat atau capat, sambil mengontrol kedalaman penetrasi.

3. Posisi Sendok

Posisi ini dilakukan dengan tubuh berbaring menyamping. Anda berada di belakang istri Anda, sehingga penetrasi dapat dilakukan dari belakang (tetapi bukan hubungan seksual anal. Hanya penetrasinya lewat arah belakang). Posisi ini juga sesuai dilakukan pada saat perut istri sudah besar, atau sat istri tidak dapat berperan aktif lagi selama bercinta (seperti pada posisi perempuan di atas).

4. Posisi Sendok Berhadapan

Posisi menyamping berhadapan dengan pasangan. Tarik satu kaki untuk memberi ruang pada pasangan untuk melakukan penetrasi. Posisi ini lebih cocok dilakukan pada triwulan pertama, ketika perut istri belum terlalu besar.

5. Posisi Duduk

Perempuan duduk di pangkuan pasangan, ketika hamil belum terlalu besar, posisi berhadapan dapat dilakukan. Tapi ketika perut semakin membesar, posisi tidak berhadapan dapat dipilih. Posisi ini dapat menjadi pilihan pada masa kehamilan akhir trimester ke-2 atau pada awal trimester ke-3. Posisi ini cukup nyaman, baik untuk istri maupun Anda sendiri, sekalipun tidak memberikan kesempatan bagi Anda berdua untuk banyak melakukan gerakan aktif saat pemanasan (foreplay). Sayangnya, posisi duduk ini hanya nyaman dilakukan bagi berat tubuh istri tergolong normal. Sebab, pada posisi ini Anda harus menopang berat tubuh istri pada pangkuan Anda.

6. Doggie Style

Agar perut tidak mendapat tekanan, istri bisa bersangga pada lutut dan tangannya, sepeerti hendak merangkak. Hanya saja, jika perut istri sudah sangat besar, bisa saja perut tetap menyentuh alas. Posisi ini juga tidak bisa dilakukan dalam tempo lama, karena cukup melatihkan bagi istri, walau ia tidak melakukan gerakan aktif. Keuntungannya, pembuluh darah di punggung tidak tertekan oleh berat perut.

7. Seks Non-Penetratif

Di luar alternatif-alternatif posisi tersebut, Anda bisa juga melakukan seks non-penetratif. Artinya, alat kelamin suami tidak perlu memasuki vagina istri. Suami istri bisa saling memberikan seks oral atau masturbasi.

Apa pun posisi yang Anda berdua pilih, nikmatilah aktivitas seksual itu bersama-sama dengan tetap memperhatikan kondisi kehamilan istri Anda. Asalkan kehamilan istri Anda dinyatakan tidak memiliki risiko apapun, Anda berdua bisa melakukan hubungan seksual kapan pun Anda berdua menginginkannya, bahkan sampai menjelang persalinan sekalipun. Dengan tetap menikmati aktivitas yang satu ini bersama suami, Anda berdua bisa sling berbagi rasa takut maupun kekhawatiran, serta stres yang mungkin muncul selama masa kehamilan.
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Namun jika kehamilan istri Anda berisiko, seperti misalnya letak plasenta tidak pada posisi yang seharusnya (plasenta previa), maka lebih baik berkonsultasi dulu dengan dokter spesialis kandungan jika Anda berdua tetap ingin bisa berhubungan seksual. Begitu juga apabila istri mengalami perdarahan ringan, seperti keluarnya flek-flek pada kehamilan trimester pertama, tunda dulu keinginan itu. (DB, Mutiara Dwi R/Mom & Kiddie/via)

Bercinta Saat Hamil

2008-06-25T14:49:00.000-07:00

Kehamilan adalah masa dengan banyak perubahan bagi sepasang suami-istri, tak terkecuali dengan hubungan seksual. Pada masa ini Anda dan pasangan mungkin mengalami emosi dan perasaan berbeda pada masa-masa itu, bahkan tak jarang menjadi labil sehingga komunikasi merupakan hal yang sangat penting untuk dilakukan sejak masa itu mulai.

Berhubungan seks di masa kehamilan memicu banyak pertanyaan di baliknya, meskipun secara medis berhubungan seks selama hamil bukan hal yang keliru, namun tak ada salahnya mencermati beberapa informasi bersenggama di masa kehamilan.

Bersenggama, penetrasi serta orgasme merupakan hal yang benar-benar aman sepanjang ibu hamil dalam konsidi kesehatan baik, mengingat janin dilengkapi dengan pelindung yang berupa cairan amniotik (air ketuban).

eorang wanita sehat dengan kehamilan normal bisa terus berhubungan seks sampai usia kandungannya mencapai sembilan bulan tanpa perlu takut melukai diri sendiri ataupun janinnya.

Mungkin dokter atau bidan Anda akan memberikan panduan dasar agar bersenggama semakin nyaman tanpa terhalang kehamilan, selain memberikan batasan-batasan serta larangan selama periode tertantu, terutama jika si ibu hamil:
- Pernah mengalami keguguran
- Pernah mengalami kelahiran dini
- Infeksi dari masing-masing pasangan
- Kehadiran janin lipat ganda
- Pendarahan selama hubungan tubuh
- Terasa sakit selama hubungan badan
- Pecahnya air ketuban atau kebocoran cairan dari vagina

Selama trimester pertama, banyak wanita mengalami gejala fisik seperti mual, muntah, dan kepenatan yang mungkin mempengaruhi hasrat mereka untuk berhubungan seks. Namun kelembutan payudara mulai terasa pada trimester pertama dan berlanjut sepanjang kehamilan.

Frekuensi buang air kecil sudah menjadi sebuah rutinitas dan beberapa wanita yakin berhubungan seks akan memperburuk kondisi tersebut. Jika Anda mengalami gejala-gejala tersebut, melakukan hubungan seks dengan suami menjadi sebuah 'momok' bagi Anda, bahkan menjadi hal yang tak menggairahkan dibanding pra-kehamilan.

Pada beberapa kasus kehamilan, beberapa wanita merasa tak nyaman dengan perangsangan payudaranya, sedang yang lainnya merasakan hal tersebut sangat nikmat.

Kehamilan bisa menjadi saat di mana Anda dan pasangan bisa mencoba posisi dan bentuk keintiman yang berbeda untuk mencapai kepuasan tanpa harus terhalang dengan perubahan bentuk badan.

Jenis aktivitas intim (mencium, memeluk dan membelai, masturbasi, oral seks) akan sangat menyenangkan saat masa kehamilan. Banyak ketidaknyamanan di awal kehamilan akan berakhir selama trimester kedua.

Kebanyakan wanita mengalami peningkatan energi dan kenaikan nafsu seksual saat rasa tak nyaman tersebut mulai berkurang. Selama trimester kedua ibu yang penuh harap mulai merasa lebih bisa menjadi diri sendiri, vagina jadi terasa lebih penuh dan kuantitas pelumas vagina bertambah sewaktu posisi bayi mulai turun merendah di panggul. Banyak wanita mengatakan mereka lebih mudah terangsang dan lebih responsif secara seksual selama periode ini.

Perut yang membesar saat kehamilan membuat hubungan seksual menjadi tak nyaman. Banyak pasangan menemukan posisi berbaring bersampingan, saling berhadapan atau masuk dari posisi belakang mengatakan lebih merasa nyaman.

Jika Anda merasa tertekan selama bersenggama, ada baiknya menghindari penetrasi terlalu mendalam. Bantuan bantal atau pelumas tambahan mungkin dapat mengurangi rasa tak nyaman.

Bersenggama dengan posisi wanita di atas biasanya menghasilkan penetrasi yang lebih mendalam, walaupun lebih memungkinkan pihak wanita yang mengontrol kedalaman penetrasi.Perangsangan pada payudara mungkin akan membuat colostrums (cairan kekuning-kuningan yang bening) keluar, namun tak perlu khawatir karena cairan tersebut adalah hal wajar dan tak berbahaya, meskipun untuk beberapa pasangan terasa tidak menyenangkan.

Beberapa wanita lebih suka menghindari orgasme karena kontraksi yang menyertai membuat terasa tak nyaman, padahal orgasme bukanlah hal yang berbahaya.

Pengertian, kehangatan, dan dukungan sangat dibutuhkan kedua belah pihak selama minggu-minggu terakhir kehamilan saat tekanan bertambah dan hubungan seksual juga mungkin terasa mulai melelahkan atau tak nyaman.

Jika dokter Anda menyarankan untuk menghindari penetrasi, seks oral atau onani mungkin menjadi pilihan yang dapat diterima. Namun pasangan Anda sebaiknya tidak terlalu jauh berpenetrasi ke dalam vagina selama seks oral karena bisa mengancam kehidupan emboli udara.

Anda dan pasangan akan mengalami banyak perasaan unik selama masa kehamilan. Komunikasi terbuka dan ekspresi seksual selama masa ini bisa membuat Anda dan pasangan semakin dekat dan semakin saling mengenal. Jangan segan membicarakan keluhan atau pertanyaan bersengama pada masa kehamilan kepada dokter Anda.

Wanita Juga Bisa Ejakulasi!

2008-06-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

Selama ini ejakulasi hanya milik pria. Namun sebuah penelitian menunjukkan bahwa wanita juga bisa ber-ejakulasi. Benarkah?

Ejakulasi dikenal sebagai bentuk puncak kepuasan seorang laki-laki saat melakukan aktivitas seksual, yaitu dengan keluarnya cairan sperma dari alat kelamin laki-laki. Dan pada wanita biasanya puncak kepuasan seksual itu disebut dengan orgasme.

Sebuah penelitian menunjukkan bahwa ternyata laki-laki dan perempuan dapat merasakan orgasme dan dapat melakukan ejakulasi. Orgasme ternyata adalah proses tercapainya kenikmatan saat berhubungan seks, sedangkan ejakulasi adalah bentuk dari tercapainya kepuasan itu.

Pada wanita, ejakulasi yang terjadi hampir sama dengan laki-laki, yaitu terjadi semburan cairan dari alat kelaminnya. Cairan yang keluar adalah semacam protein, dan bentuknya cair seperti urin. Demikian yang dikutip detikhot dari BBC, Rabu (16/1/2008)

Penelitian yang lain juga menyebutkan bahwa cairan yang keluar itu memang urin, namun berubah komposisi pada saat melakukan hubungan seksual. Dan sampai saat ini penelitian mengenai cairan ejakulasi pada wanita masih dilakukan.

Namun yang perlu diketahui adalah, tidak semua wanita ber-ejakulasi walaupun mereka merasakan orgasme. Jadi jika pasangan Anda tidak berejakulasi, jangan khawatir. Karena bukan berarti Anda tidak dapat memuaskan pasangan.

Married By Accident

2008-06-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

safe sex with sex education
mitos-mitos & pengetahuan Seks

Cewek hanya bisa hamil kalo saat bersenggama, orgasmenya bareng (orgasme pada saat bersamaan).

MITOS!
Secara ringkas, konsep kehamilan kurang lebih seperti ini... Cewek sebulan sekali memproduksi sel telur yang tersimpan dalam rahimnya. Saat bersenggama, cowok memuncratkan mani yang berisi jutaan (mungkin miliaran) sel sperma. Nah, sel sperma yang super banyak ini berlomba-lomba berenang masuk ke dalam rahim untuk mencapai sel telur yang ada di sana. Begitu sel sperma pertama mencapai sel telur, terjadi proses yang namanya pembuahan. Ini merupakan awal kehamilan, karena sel telur yang udah dibuahi tadi akan tumbuh menjadi janin, lalu pada saatnya, tumbuh jadi bayi. Sel-sel sperma yang lain udah nggak berfungsi lagi, soalnya yang dibutuhin dalam pembuahan sel telur emang cuma satu aja.

Jadi pernyataan ?kalo orgasmenya nggak bareng, maka nggak akan hamil? itu cuma mitos belaka. Bohong besar itu. Saat orgasme, cewek nggak mengeluarkan apa-apa kok (kecuali cairan vagina yang lebih banyak). Bahan baku yang dibutuhkan cewek untuk kehamilan (yaitu sel telur) emang nggak dikeluarin ke mana-mana, tapi diam aja dalam rahimnya. Jadi jangankan ?nggak bareng?, walau si cewek nggak orgasme pun, kehamilan bisa terjadi kalo saat itu dia lagi punya sel telur.

FAKTANYA:
Orgasme pada cewek MEMBANTU meningkatkan kemungkinan terjadinya kehamilan. Karena orgasme meningkatkan aliran darah ke organ-organ reproduksi cewek, supaya berfungsi lebih optimal. Selain itu, gerakan-gerakan otot vagina dan mulut rahim pada saat orgasme membantu ?menghisap? mani ke dalam rahim. Jadi mempercepat sel-sel sperma untuk mencapai sel telur.

Informasi tambahan: Kalo nggak dibuahi oleh sel sperma, sel telur ini akan mati dan terbuang bersama lapisan dinding rahim yang melindunginya. Inilah yang terjadi dalam proses menstruasi. Darah yang keluar itu (kadang berbentuk seperti potongan daging, karena begitu kentalnya) adalah lapisan dinding rahim yang dibentuk untuk melindungi sel telur yang dibuahi. Jadi kalo nggak dibuahi, ya dibuang semua.

SEX EDUCATION

2008-06-25T14:22:00.000-07:00

What is sex education?
Sex education, which is sometimes called sexuality education or sex and relationships education, is the process of acquiring information and forming attitudes and beliefs about sex, sexual identity, relationships and intimacy. Sex education is also about developing young people's skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices. It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education, partly because it is a means by which they are helped to protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS.1 2 3 4 5

What are the aims of sex education?
Sex education seeks both to reduce the risks of potentially negative outcomes from sexual behaviour like unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and infection with sexually transmitted diseases, and to enhance the quality of relationships. It is also about developing young people's ability to make decisions over their entire lifetime. Sex education that works, by which we mean that it is effective, is sex education that contributes to this overall aim.

What skills should sex education develop?
If sex education is going to be effective it needs to include opportunities for young people to develop skills, as it can hard for them to act on the basis of only having information.6 7 The kinds of skills young people develop as part of sex education are linked to more general life-skills. For example, being able to communicate, listen, negotiate, ask for and identify sources of help and advice, are useful life-skills and can be applied in terms of sexual relationships. Effective sex education develops young people's skills in negotiation, decision-making, assertion and listening. Other important skills include being able to recognise pressures from other people and to resist them, deal with and challenge prejudice, seek help from adults - including parents, carers and professionals - through the family, community and health and welfare services. Sex education that works, also helps equip young people with the skills to be able to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information, discuss a range of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality, including different cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like sexuality, abortion and contraception.8 9 10

Forming attitudes and beliefs
Young people can be exposed to a wide range of attitudes and beliefs in relation to sex and sexuality. These sometimes appear contradictory and confusing. For example, some health messages emphasis the risks and dangers associated with sexual activity and some media coverage promotes the idea that being sexually active makes a person more attractive and mature. Because sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects, young people and sex educators can have strong views on what attitudes people should hold, and what moral framework should govern people's behaviour - these too can sometimes seem to be at odds. Young people are very interested in the moral and cultural frameworks that binds sex and sexuality. They often welcome opportunities to talk about issues where people have strong views, like abortion, sex before marriage, lesbian and gay issues and contraception and birth control. It is important to remember that talking in a balanced way about differences in opinion does not promote one set of views over another, or mean that one agrees with a particular view. Part of exploring and understanding cultural, religious and moral views is finding out that you can agree to disagree.
People providing sex education have attitudes and beliefs of their own about sex and sexuality and it is important not to let these influence negatively the sex education that they provide. For example, even if a person believes that young people should not have sex until they are married, this does not imply withholding important information about safer sex and contraception. Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.11 12 Rather than trying to deter or frighten young people away from having sex, effective sex education includes work on attitudes and beliefs, coupled with skills development, that enables young people to choose whether or not to have a sexual relationship taking into account the potential risks of any sexual activity.

Effective sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reasons why people have sex, and to think about how it involves emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies. Young people should have the chance to explore gender differences and how ethnicity and sexuality can influence people's feelings and options.13 14 They should be able to decide for themselves what the positive qualities of relationships are. It is important that they understand how bullying, stereotyping, abuse and exploitation can negatively influence relationships.

So what information should be given to young people?
Young people get information about sex and sexuality from a wide range of sources including each other, through the media including advertising, television and magazines, as well as leaflets, books and websites (such as www.avert.org) which are intended to be sources of information about sex and sexuality. Some of this will be accurate and some inaccurate. Providing information through sex education is therefore about finding out what young people already know and adding to their existing knowledge and correcting any misinformation they may have. For example, young people may have heard that condoms are not effective against HIV/AIDS or that there is a cure for AIDS. It is important to provide information which corrects mistaken beliefs. Without correct information young people can put themselves at greater risk.

Information is also important as the basis on young people can developed well- informed attitudes and views about sex and sexuality. Young people need to have information on all the following topics:

* Sexual development
* Reproduction
* Contraception
* Relationships

They need to have information about the physical and emotional changes associated with puberty and sexual reproduction, including fertilisation and conception and about sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. They also need to know about contraception and birth control including what contraceptives there are, how they work, how people use them, how they decide what to use or not, and how they can be obtained. In terms of information about relationships they need to know about what kinds of relationships there are, about love and commitment, marriage and partnership and the law relating to sexual behaviour and relationships as well as the range of religious and cultural views on sex and sexuality and sexual diversity. In addition, young people should be provided with information about abortion, sexuality, and confidentiality, as well as about the range of sources of advice and support that is available in the community and nationally.

When should sex education start?
Sex education that works starts early, before young people reach puberty, and before they have developed established patterns of behaviour.15 16 17 The precise age at which information should be provided depends on the physical, emotional and intellectual development of the young people as well as their level of understanding. What is covered and also how, depends on who is providing the sex education, when they are providing it, and in what context, as well as what the individual young person wants to know about.

It is important not to delay providing information to young people but to begin when they are young. Providing basic information provides the foundation on which more complex knowledge is built up over time. This also means that sex education has to be sustained. For example, when they are very young, children can be informed about how people grow and change over time, and how babies become children and then adults, and this provides the basis on which they understand more detailed information about puberty provided in the pre-teenage years. They can also when they are young, be provided with information about viruses and germs that attack the body. This provides the basis for talking to them later about infections that can be caught through sexual contact.

Some people are concerned that providing information about sex and sexuality arouses curiosity and can lead to sexual experimentation. There is no evidence that this happens.18 19 It is important to remember that young people can store up information provided at any time, for a time when they need it later on.

Sometimes it can difficult for adults to know when to raise issues, but the important thing is to maintain an open relationship with children which provides them with opportunities to ask questions when they have them. Parents and carers can also be proactive and engage young people in discussions about sex, sexuality and relationships. Naturally, many parents and their children feel embarrassed about talking about some aspects of sex and sexuality. Viewing sex education as an on-going conversation about values, attitudes and issues as well as providing facts can be helpful. The best basis to proceed on is a sound relationship in which a young person feels able to ask a question or raise an issue if they feel they need to. It has been shown that in countries like The Netherlands, where many families regard it as an important responsibility to talk openly with children about sex and sexuality, this contributes to greater cultural openness about sex and sexuality and improved sexual health among young people.20

The role of many parents and carers as sex educators changes as young people get older and young people are provided with more opportunities to receive formal sex education through schools and community-settings. However, it doesn't get any less important. Because sex education in school tends to take place in blocks of time, it can't always address issues relevant to young people at a particular time, and parents can fulfill a particularly important role in providing information and opportunities to discuss things as they arise.21

Who should provide sex education?
Different settings provide different contexts and opportunities for sex education. At home, young people can easily have one-to-one discussions with parents or carers which focus on specific issues, questions or concerns. They can have a dialogue about their attitudes and views. Sex education at home also tends to take place over a long time, and involve lots of short interactions between parents and children. There may be times when young people seem reluctant to talk, but it is important not to interpret any diffidence as meaning that there is nothing left to talk about. As young people get older advantage can be taken of opportunities provided by things seen on television for example, as an opportunity to initiate conversation. It is also important not to defer dealing with a question or issue for too long as it can suggest that you are unwilling to talk about it.

In school the interaction between the teacher and young people takes a different form and is often provided in organised blocks of lessons. It is not as well suited to advising the individual as it is to providing information from an impartial point of view. The most effective sex education acknowledges the different contributions each setting can make. Schools programmes which involve parents, notifying them what is being taught and when, can support the initiation of dialogue at home. Parents and schools both need to engage with young people about the messages that they get from the media, and give them opportunities for discussion.

In some countries, the involvement of young people themselves in developing and providing sex education has increased as a means of ensuring the relevance and accessibility of provision. Consultation with young people at the point when programmes are designed, helps ensure that they relevant and the involvement of young people in delivering programmes may reinforce messages as they model attitudes and behaviour to their peers.22 23 24

Effective school-based sex education
School-based sex education can be an important and effective way of enhancing young people's knowledge, attitudes and behaviour. There is widespread agreement that formal education should include sex education and what works has been well-researched. Evidence suggests that effective school programmes will include the following elements:

* A focus on reducing specific risky behaviours;
* A basis in theories which explain what influences people's sexual choices and behaviour;
* A clear, and continuously reinforced message about sexual behaviour and risk reduction;
* Providing accurate information about, the risks associated with sexual activity, about contraception and birth control, and about methods of avoiding or deferring intercourse;
* Dealing with peer and other social pressures on young people; Providing opportunities to practise communication, negotiation and assertion skills;
* Uses a variety of approaches to teaching and learning that involve and engage young people and help them to personalise the information;
* Uses approaches to teaching and learning which are appropriate to young people's age, experience and cultural background;
* Is provided by people who believe in what they are saying and have access to support in the form of training or consultation with other sex educators.

Formal programmes with these elements have been shown to increase young people's levels of knowledge about sex and sexuality, put back the average age at which they first have sexual intercourse and decrease risk when they do have sex . All the elements are important and inter-related, and sex education needs to be supported by links to sexual health services, otherwise it is not going to be so effective . It also takes into account the messages about sexual values and behaviour young people get from other sources, like friends and the media. It is also responsive to the needs of the young people themselves - whether they are girls or boys, on their own or in a single sex or mixed sex group, and what they know already, their age and experiences.

Taking Sex Education Forward
Providing effective sex education can seem daunting because it means tackling potentially sensitive issues. However, because sex education comprises many individual activities, which take place across a wide range of settings and periods of time, there are lots of opportunities to contribute.

The nature of a person's contribution depends on their relationship, role and expertise in relation to young people. For example, parents are best placed in relation to young people to provide continuity of individual support and education starting from early in their lives. School-based education programmes are particularly good at providing information and opportunities for skills development and attitude clarification in more formal ways, through lessons within a curriculum. Community-based projects provide opportunities for young people to access advice and information in less formal ways. Sexual health and other health and welfare services can provide access to specific information, support and advice. Sex education through the mass media, often supported by local, regional or national Government and non-governmental agencies and departments, can help to raise public awareness of sex health issues.

Further development of sex education partly depends on joining up these elements in a coherent way to meet the needs of young people. There is also a need to pay more attention to the needs of specific groups of young people like young parents, young lesbian, gay and bisexual people, as well as those who may be out of touch with services and schools and socially vulnerable, like young refugees and asylum-seekers, young people in care, young people in prisons, and also those living on the street.

The circumstances and context available to parents and other sex educators are different from place to place. Practical or political realities in a particular country may limit people's ability to provide young people with comprehensive sex education combining all the elements in the best way possible. But the basic principles outlined here apply everywhere. By making our own contribution and valuing that made by others, and by being guided by these principles, we can provide more sex education that works and improve the support we offer to young people.

http://www.avert.org/educate.htm
http://www.avert.org/aidsyoun.htm
http://www.avert.org/faqypsex.htm
http://www.avert.org/sfeel1.htm

Written by Simon Forrest, Sex Education Consultant & Annabel Kanabus, Director, AVERT, UK
References

1. United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights www.un.org/rights/HRToday (accessed 15.04.02)
2. European Convention on the Exercise of Children's Rights http://conventions.coe.int/Treaty/EN/Treaties/Html/160.htm
3. United Nations Declaration on the Rights of the Child, www.un.org/rights/HRToday (accessed 15.04.02)
4. United Nations General Assembly, Declaration of commitment on HIV/AIDS August 2nd 2001 www.un.org/ga/aids/docs/aress262.pdf (accessed 15.04.02)
5. International Planned Parenthood Foundation www.ippf.org
6. Bandura, A. (1992) self-efficacy mechanism in psychobiologic functioning, self -efficacy: thought control of action pp. 155-189 Washington: Hemisphere.
7. Wight, D., Abraham, C. and Scott, S. (1998) Towards a psychosocial theoretical framework for sexual health promotion. Health Education Research, 13 pp.317-330
8. Kirby, D., Barth, R., Leland, N. and Fetro, J. (1991) Reducing the risk: a new curriculum to prevent sexual risk-taking, Family Planning Perspectives 23 pp.253-263
9. "National Guidelines Task Force (SIECUS) (2004) Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education: Kindergarten through 12th Grade", New York: Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), accessed 3rd July 2005
10. Meyrick, J. and Swann, C. (1998) "Reducing the rate of teenage conceptions an overview of effectiveness of interventions and programmes aimed at reducing unintended conceptions in young people". London: Health Education Authority
11. SIECUS (2005) "What does the research say about abstinence-only-until-marriage programs and comprehensive sexuality education?: Siecus Public Policy Office Factsheet", accessed 4th July 2005
12. Collins, C., Alagiri, P. and Summers, T. (2002) "Abstinence only vs. comprehensive sex education: What are the arguments? What is the evidence?", University of California, San Francisco: AIDS Research Institute, accessed 6th July 2005
13. Meyrick, J. and Swann, C. (1998) Reducing the rate of teenage conceptions an overview of effectiveness of interventions and programmes aimed at reducing unintended conceptions in young people. London: Health Education Authority
14. Swan, C., Bowe, K., McCormick, G. and Kosmin, M. (2003) "Teenage pregnancy and parenthood: A review of reviews: Evidence briefing". London: Health Development Agency, accessed 3rd July 2005
15. Kirby, D., Short, L., Collins, J., Rugg, D., Kolbe, L., Howard M et al. (1994) School-based programmes to decrease sexual risk behaviours: a review of effectiveness, Public Health Report 109 pp.336-360
16. Schaalma, R., Kok, G. and Peters, L. (1993) Determinants of consistent condom use by adolescents: the impact of experience of sexual intercourse, Health Education Research, Theory and Practice 8 pp.255-269
17. Dickson, R., Fullerton, D., Eastwood, A., Sheldon, T., Sharp, F et al. (1997) Effective Health Care: Preventing and reducing the adverse effects of unintended teenage pregnancies, National Health Service Centre for Reviews and Dissemination University of York.
18. Wellings, K., Wadsworth, J., Johnson, A.M., Field, J., Whitaker, L.B. (1995) Provision of sex education and early sexual experience: the relation examined, British Medical Journal 311 pp. 417-420
19. Kirby, D. (2001). "Emerging answers: research findings on programs to reduce unwanted teenage pregnancy". Washington, DC, USA: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, accessed 3rd July 2005
20. Ingham, R. and Van Zessen, G. (1998) From cultural contexts to interactional competencies, paper at AIDS in Europe: Social and Behavioural Dimensions Conference, Paris, 12-16th January.
21. Teenage Pregnancy Unit (2002) "Teenage Pregnancy Unit (2002) Involving parents in prevention: resource - involving parents". London: Teenage Pregnancy Unit, accessed 2nd July 2005
22. Blekinsop, S., Wade, P., Benton, T., Gnaldi, M. and Schagen, S. (2004). "Evaluation of the APAUSE Sex and Relationships Education Programme", London: National Foundation for Educational Research, accessed 7th July 2005
23. J M Stephenson, V Strange, S Forrest, A Oakley, A Copas, E Allen, A Babiker, S Black, M Ali, H Monteiro, A M Johnson, and the RIPPLE study team. (2004) "Pupil-led sex education in England (RIPPLE study): cluster-randomised intervention trial", The Lancet, 364 (9421): 338-346
24. Forrest, S., Strange, V., Oakley, A., and the RIPPLE team (2002) "A comparison of student evaluations of a peer-delivered sex education programme and teacher-led programme", Sex Education, 2(3): 195-214

Emotional Infidelity - is it wrong?

2008-06-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

Emotional Infidelity – How does it happen?
There are so many seemingly harmless ways for “good” people to commit emotional infidelity. It often happens through everyday activities and the ideas that we allow to influence our minds.

Consider establishing healthy boundaries in these areas:

* Limit television viewing and avoid watching soap operas and movies that contain sexual content and extra-marital affairs.
* Be careful where you go on the Internet. Avoid all forms of pornography. When active in chat rooms, be sure your spouse is around and keeps you accountable for your activities online.
* Avoid pornographic billboards. Take a different route, if needed.
* Be careful what novels you read. Many women choose not to read romance novels because they tend to compare their husband with the hero in the story and then they see that their husband doesn’t measure up.
* Limit your intake of magazines.
* Be on guard so you don’t develop an inappropriate relationship with someone besides your spouse, no matter how innocent you believe it to be.
* If you need to have a business meeting with someone of the opposite sex, consider bringing along your spouse or another coworker. Avoid being alone together.
* Accountability partners are another way of having a check and balance system. If you find you are prone to slip, ask a good friend to hold you accountable. When you feel like you are headed for trouble -- call them to talk and pray together.

Emotional Infidelity – How can I keep my mind pure?
How can we keep my mind pure and avoid emotional infidelity? It’s not always the easiest thing to do since we live in a world where sex sells.

Inappropriate thoughts are bound to come creeping into our brains occasionally, but we can choose not to entertain them. We don’t have to rehearse them like the actor mentioned above. We can immediately dismiss impure thoughts and we can refuse to commit emotional infidelity.

Husband Addicted to Porn - Help for the Hurting Wife

2008-06-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

My husband is addicted to porn – the Current State of the Union
Your husband is addicted to porn. You’ve been crushed by your his behavior, and rightly so. Where do you go from here? Do you stay with him? Punish him? Dump him? All you know is that you cannot and will not compete with the stuff he’s filling his mind with.

Mandy said she always believed her husband when he told her he simply didn’t have much sexual desire—until the day she happened to open a package that came in the mail. Inside were two DVDs of naked women, a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, a Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalog, a Victoria’s Secret catalog, and a Howard Stern tape.

She was devastated, saying, “Most men want to have sex all the time. Mine now says he totally hates sex, but that he likes to look at nude women and fantasize, and he’s been masturbating two or three times a day and has nothing left for me! I feel completely rejected by my own husband. Do you understand that? Do you understand that I love my husband and I want him to love me? I have no one to talk to about this. I know I should pour myself out before the Lord, but I hurt too much. Is there any earthly help for me?”1

My husband is addicted to porn – Is it normal to feel the way I do?
If your husband is addicted to porn, he is not leading a disciplined life. He is robbing you, so you naturally feel crushed. What other feelings will surge over you in the wake of his porn and the masturbation that follows? Anger, for one. It’s normal to be angry when you’ve been robbed, and so it’s normal to be angry at your husband’s sexual sin. You needn’t apologize for that.

Don’t be surprised if you’re feeling like an outright fool too. What could be more normal? When you find out that your husband has been secretly looking at another’s bare body and masturbating, you’ll feel utterly blindsided. You may even be kicking yourself for not having seen it coming, especially if your female intuition sent out early warning signals. . . signals that you, in your faithfulness to him, laughed off as paranoid or even out-and-out silly.

If you’ve ignored such clues, you feel like a fool, another common emotion swamping wives in the wake. But that feeling becomes an overwhelming flood if you’ve beat yourself up over his lack of sexual desire over the past few years, figuring that your “home cooking” should have kept him coming back for more if it tasted any good.

Out of guilt you may have shouldered the whole load of responsibility for his lack of desire -- maybe dieting hard to lose weight and pouring out sweat in heavy workouts to draw out the desires of your one and only. Perhaps you’ve stopped by Victoria’s Secret in order to drape yourself in something visually tantalizing to spark his attentions, even though wearing it made you feel uncomfortable. And often, when you bravely initiated a passionate encounter, your vulnerability was flung back in your face.

And now? You’ve found out it was never your fault at all. While you were sacrificing juicy burgers for limp salads and running treadmills like a gerbil on a wheel, he was masturbating away his sex drive on others. On your darker days you now even suspect that he conveniently led you to believe that you were to blame, intentionally and artfully using your guilt, fear, and disciplined regimens to cover the tracks of his undisciplined life. How stupid you feel! How conned!2

My husband is addicted to porn – What do I do now?
Face it. Because of his sexual sin, your marriage was compromised. Sure, you’re hurt and very angry. You’ve lost that warm, cozy image of your marriage, and that naturally wounds you deeply. But in another sense, you haven’t lost as much as you think, because your marriage wasn’t what it appeared to be. My point? There is a bright silver lining to this dark, billowing cloud. Think about it: you have been living in a false world, and had it not been for this revelation of your husband’s sin, you might have blindly and tragically gone through your whole life without ever experiencing the richness God intends for your marriage. But God is faithful, and He loves you too much to leave you where you are now. Of course, it’s my odds-on guess that this hasn’t felt much like love to you, and perhaps you’ve been as mad at God as you have been at your husband. But that anger is misplaced. Though the revelation hurt, the Lord has proven His undying love for you by exposing your husband’s sexual sin, and he stands ready to help you get through this.

While you may not feel good about what has happened, this event could bring about one of the most hopeful times of your life. The discovery of your husband’s secret sin has revealed the true state of your marital union, and now you have the opportunity to experience something real with him. Marriage doesn’t have to be a big, fat lie. . . .Whatever it’s been up until now, it doesn’t have to stay there.

It will be helpful if you view the discovery of your husband’s sin as God’s grace in your life. His sexual impropriety has been like a huge life-sucking tumor silently attacking your marriage. But now that you’ve found the cancer, there’s hope. Now you can pray for healing, begin treatment, and seek a marital life restored and brimming with health. Best of all, this is your chance to live out the truth that all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

God has set you free to pursue your personal healing. And He aches to see the same thing for your marriage. Here’s your chance to live like a real Christian, to truly sacrifice, and to truly align your thinking with Christ regarding your marriage.3

My husband is addicted to porn – Moving on
You now have a choice. So what will you focus on—the pain or the hope? Probably both at first, and I don’t blame you. There will be days when the pain of your husband’s betrayal will overwhelm you, and your anger will drive hope far away. That’s okay. God understands, and He won’t bop you over the head for your lack of faith. He’d rather hug you and draw you near, if you’ll let him. You’re His child, remember?

Still, thanking God for the revelation and choosing hope for the future is the first step to your freedom. Yes, even if your husband hasn’t fully repented yet. Sure, your first faltering steps in this direction will be like crossing a stream by jumping from rock to slippery rock, which means it won’t be easy. Being thankful in the midst of chaos is always a challenge. Sometimes it’ll feel as if you’re thanking Him for your pain, which may seem comical and even hypocritical in your eyes. And it may take daily discipline, even moment-by-moment discipline, to maintain a grateful outlook.

But as you discipline your heart to the truth and choose to be thankful for what He has done in opening your eyes, your obedience will kick up a breeze of the Spirit’s breath in your life that’ll begin to dissipate your pain. That’s what we’re after.

Not that “thank you, Lord” is some magical phrase that will instantly make everything better. Until your husband commits his whole heart to winning the battle, until God can get your husband’s full attention, things will still go roughly for you.

But even in that case, a thankful heart is your best first step, a step that begins to give you your sanity back as you wait for God’s work to be done in your husband’s life. Everything is in the light now. You’re no longer guessing what’s going on, and you know the score regarding your marriage. Sure, you may have to wait awhile for victory, but even so, all is not lost. This time can serve you well, as you still have plenty of work to do in your own life if you expect to answer God’s call as your husband’s helpmate, a work that’ll serve to focus your husband’s attention on God.4

Remember, [t]his is ultimately between your husband and the King. You needn’t jump him every time he blows it. Trust God. When you aren’t speaking, you can be certain that God is.5
Learn More!

Special thanks to Every Heart Restored. We heartily recommend this resource for women who find themselves in a marriage damaged by sexual sin.

Husband Addicted to Porn1 From Every Heart Restored. Copyright 2004 by Stephen Arterburn, Brenda Stoeker, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey. Used by permission of WaterBrook Press, Colorado Springs CO. All rights reserved. Excerpt from page 27.
2 Ibid, 25-27.
3 Ibid, 34-35.
4 Ibid, 35-36.
5 Ibid, 191.

Love Addiction

2008-06-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

Love Addiction – The Issue
Love Addiction is just like any other compulsion except that it has to do with relationships. Because of the ‘love’ part of the addiction, people often don’t understand the dangerous gravity of the situation. In fact, Hollywood tends to make light of this problem in sitcoms and movies because a true-love relationship just isn’t marketable. Glorified love is the stuff upon which movies are created! But no matter how comical Hollywood makes it, love addiction is no laughing matter to the addicted person or their partner.

A person who is excessively attached to another person most likely carried those habits over from past relationships. The conditions in such past relationships left the person feeling inadequate or mentally and/or physically abused. Romantic relationships are not the only type that cause such habits to develop; they can also stem from any of the following conditions: lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, hidden pain, early abandonment, unrecognized early needs, fears of rejection, pain, and lack of love or hope.

A love addict has a fear of change. They will attach themselves to another person as to obtain that person’s identity for themselves. Having a very low self-esteem and lacking self-identity, the person chooses a mate or friend they would like to become. Crimes of passion, murder, suicides, and stalking, bloom out of these relationships. Homosexuality is another byproduct of this problem, as it’s easier to take on the identity of someone of the same sex. A love addict also has the need to control the relationship. They will use sex to get their own way or in exchange for love. He or she confuses sex for love.

When a person tries to break up with a love addict, the situation becomes very intense and could result in stalking. The break-up adds to the addicts already overloaded emotional system. The love addict is not afraid to be as outlandish in actions as possible.
Love Addiction – The Characteristics
The following are some of the obvious traits of this addiction:

* Is unable to trust in relationships
* Has an inner rage over lack of nurturing in childhood
* Battles with depression
* Tolerates high-risk behavior
* Has other addictive or compulsive behaviors
* Questions values and life all the time
* Has a frantic personality
* Denies problems
* Confuses wants as needs
* Replaces ended relationships immediately
Love Addiction – What’s does it leave in its wake? Addicts tend to stifle any self-development because they feel only a need to obtain what their partner has obtained. Unrealistic hopes and dreams tend to shatter their relationships quickly and because of this pattern of disappointment, fear and dependency are resident emotions. As soon as possible after a breakup, the addict will find another partner to avoid self-dependence; or they may dwell in the remains of a lost relationship even to the point of stalking the person that left. Instead of honesty and self-integrity, the addict is destructive to a loving partnership.

Psychological imbalances and childhood problems that are magnified to a point of self-destruction need professional counseling. It is necessary to free the addict to love in a healthy relationship.

Love Addiction – What is Love to you?
The most beautiful expression of that kind of love which we all seek is found in the Bible -- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Here, the Bible elegantly defines love in this way: ”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever.”

Find out who God is and you will find that true relationship you’ve searched for your whole life. Once that is settled, He will give you just the right person with whom to have a healthy, heart-based love.

Marital Intimacy

2008-06-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Marital Intimacy – A Definition
The phrase “marital intimacy” is frequently used only to refer to sexual intercourse. However, the phrase is actually a much broader concept and speaks of the relationship and connection between a husband and a wife. There is potential for a rewarding and deep connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses four main areas -- emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical.

Marital Intimacy – A Definition
The phrase “marital intimacy” is frequently used only to refer to sexual intercourse. However, the phrase is actually a much broader concept and speaks of the relationship and connection between a husband and a wife. There is potential for a rewarding and deep connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses four main areas -- emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical.

Marital Intimacy – Can We Obtain it?
Since marital intimacy can exist between a husband and wife, how do we experience it? How can it impact my life and relationships? It is accomplished as both the husband and the wife sacrificially love each other by concentrating on meeting the other’s needs. Of course, no spouse should ever be expected to meet all the needs of the other. Nevertheless, the marriage is a team that is made up of two puzzle pieces. When the pieces fit together, they will create a beautiful picture of what marital intimacy is all about.

Intimacy is accomplished as each spouse learns to connect with the other emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Men and women are designed uniquely, so these four aspects of intimacy will be experienced in a different way for each spouse. Women generally find fulfillment in the emotional connection with her husband and she wants to know that her feelings are both valued and shared. Women also enjoy mental forms of intimacy and mutual exchange of thoughts.

Men feel marital intimacy differently and often feel the greatest levels of intimacy through activity, companionship, and forms of physical intimacy such as sexual intercourse. The intimacy needs of women might be described as “being,” while the same needs in men can best be conceptualized as “doing.”

Marital Intimacy – Spiritual Intimacy
The writer of the Book of Ecclesiastes speaks of two individuals deriving warmth from lying down together (Ecclesiastes 4:9). The same passage provides a visual picture of a rope that is woven with three strands of cord to symbolize the intimate connection that exists in a marriage that is strengthened by God. From these verses in the Bible, we can understand that while marital intimacy is certainly about a physical connection, it is much more than that. The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 5:31-31 about a mysterious union of a man who, by joining himself to a wife, becomes one flesh with her.

Where does God fit into spiritual intimacy? He waits to be invited to become the third cord spoken of in Ecclesiastes. God reveals Himself as Creator of the universe and of mankind. Here, we find that God has created human beings in His image. In other words, we have a human spirit that was made to connect with the Spirit of the Living God. God intends that we also join our spirits together within the covenant of marriage.

How do we achieve spiritual intimacy? We must first recognize God as the One who has created us and designed a spiritual life for us. Once we have entered into a personal relationship with Him, then we are ready to share our spiritual journey with our spouse as we seek all that God has for us within the beautiful covenant of godly marriage.

3 Things That Only Feel Like Love

2008-06-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

These Feel Like Love but Are Far From It

Love is a tricky emotion. There are some things that feel like love but they are much too superficial to be the real thing. Real love takes time and doesn't happen over night. Here are three things that people often confuse for love.

Lust is the feeling that is often mistaken for love at first sight. Lust is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody you hardly know. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong.

Lust can feel like love because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming. The emotions stirred up by lust can feel very real but they are based on a fantasy. To love somebody you must know them well but many people fall in lust while they are still strangers. What people in lust fall for is a fantasy of what might be and reality can get lost in the excitement.

Overwhelmed by physical attraction people in lust can't keep their hands off of each other. They think about each other constantly and talk about one another all the time. Lust is a happy feeling brought on by passionate attraction. If you are inexperienced in matters of the heart it is very easy to mistake all that passion for love.

Lust differs from love like night differs from day. Lust happens in the early phase of a relationship when people don’t yet know each other. Lust is based on a fantasy, and the fantasy and reality don’t always mesh up. This is where lust runs out of steam.

Although physical attraction is definitely a key ingredient in any romantic relationship, love is more than just a physical longing. If a relationship is all about physical attraction it is based on lust. Really loving another person takes time and it can't be based on physical attraction alone.

Obsession
Obsessions are often mistaken for love because people rationalize the crazy feelings they are having. They assume that it must be love if the other person is always on their mind. Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around.

The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession the more intense the obsession can become. People in an obsessed state have a one track mind where the other person is concerned and they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person to bolster their sense of self.

Even unrequited love, love that is not returned, can become an overwhelming obsession. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn't really exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid.

Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you could be dealing with obsession.

Rebounding
A rebound is a relationship that starts up very quickly after another relationship has ended. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends.

Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to the security of being in love and more than anything else they want to feel that security again. They convince themselves that they are in love when they are actually missing the safety and comfort of the relationship they left behind.

If an old relationship keeps interfering with the progress of a new relationship it could mean that the relationship is a rebound. When somebody is on the rebound they are not entirely over their previous relationship. They may still be trying to work out unresolved issues from that relationship. Rebound relationships may feel like love but they are still impacted by unsettled feelings from the past.

A quick answer to this complex question.

2008-06-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

When I was a teen there was a song by a band called Images in Vogue called Lust for Love. There is a line in this song that goes like this, "You mistook my lust for love, didn't you? You mistook my lust for love, how could you? Why would you?". It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

How to Know if You're Really in Love

2008-06-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Am I in Love?
by:kodok.X

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
7. Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

Information Sheet on Love

2008-06-25T13:55:00.000-07:00

10 Things You Need to Know About Love

1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
1. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring.
4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.
7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

About Love

2008-06-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

Semua tentang cinta,,,,apa ya?
Hm....????

Cinta adalah ketika kau menyingkirkan perasaan, napsu, dan romantika dalam persahabatan. Dan menemukan bahwa kau masih peduli pada orang itu. Memberi seseorang seluruh cintamu bukanlah suatu jaminan bahwa seseorang tersebut akan mencintaimu kembali! Jangan mengharapkan cinta kembali! Hanya tunggulah, cinta itu akan tumbuh dalam hatinya, tapi jika hal itu tidak terjadi, tampunglah cinta itu akan tumbuh dalam dirimu.

Hanya butuh 1 menit untuk dapat suka dengan seseorang, hanya butuh 1 jam untuk menyukai seseorang dan 1 hari untuk mencintai seseorang tapi butuh waktu seumur hidup untuk melupakan seseorang. Pergilah untuk seseorang yang membuatmu tersenyum karena hanya butuh senyuman untuk membuat hari yang gelap terlihat terang.

Ada masanya dalam hidup ketika kamu merasa sangat merindukan seseorang dan kamu berharap dapat mengambil dia dari mimpimu dan memeluknya dalam kehidupan nyata! Bermimpilah apa yang kamu ingin mimpikan, pergilah kemana kamu ingin pergi, jadilah apa yang kamu ingini karena kamu hanya mempunyai satu kehidupan dan satu kesempatan untuk melakukan semua hal yang kamu ingin lakukan.

EURO 2008

2008-06-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

woyoo.....
haaaaaaaaaaaaa....ganggan satelit tayangan EURO [katanya gangguan badai]

Turky kalah,,,,gpp,hidup turky,semangat trus,perjuangan mu luar biasa.